"But right now I wish you were here."

Okay, haha, I seriously can't stop listening to Avril Lavigne's song, Wish you were here.

Third day since I left hostel. Since I left KPTM. Feeling? ... No words.
Okay, fine, I admit; I'm still a little hesitant about leaving, leaving everything, my friend, the course. And now I'm here, blogging about it. I was just about to do some IT applications notes and then I realized, I have been wanting to blog for a while now. So.


Yeah... Where should I start?
I'm starting to feel edgy. I feel like lashing out at some random person. Some random thing. This morning I did some running, just to sweat it all out. It worked, to some extend. But now I'm starting to feel down again. I don't know; even if I try to cry, or something along the lines, the tears wouldn't come. I just can't get this out of my head. And I don't even know what 'this' is. Feelings are hard sometimes, aren't they?

By the way,
Mother has bought her Mazda2. *shrugs* Because Mazda3 is about RM10 grand more expensive, I guess that's why.


And all these thoughts about school and all, brought me back to my elementary days. My kindergarten years. The worst part about my childhood. I dreaded it so much, just thinking about it right now makes me feel like something is tearing my flesh apart, trying to get at my literal heart. Like that. Well, it wasn't that bad, I just had very bad experiences regarding them.

And you know what they say; experience is a good teacher.

It started like this. I wasn't such a bright little girl.  I was shy and I had no possible idea how to make friends. So I was always by myself, and that's how I started talking to myself. Believing that somehow, there's another part of me. (FYI, I still believe so.) And then I became an outcast. I still remember how other kids would intentionally leave me behind and I couldn't take part in any of their games or activities. And I humbly accepted it. Surely because I was fine that way; nothing needed to change. Friends or not, I thought, I am getting through life. Even if it means all by myself.
But kindergarten wasn't easy, I must admit. Probably because I didn't have any friends. I had no getaway from the fact that my parents weren't always home. I was left with a babysitter; me, my big brother and sister. And I HATED it. So one day, I suppose, I had enough; my father was sending me to kindergarten, and I refused to go. I tried to run away, I struggled so hard; the teacher who tried to take me away became the victim of my biting. I bit her hand. Since that incident, I became more of an outcast. Nobody wanted to be friends with me any longer and it was all my fault.

I never realized this until I actually spelled it out. It was my fault, huh?

Then it was brought along to my elementary years. I started out fine, my grades were as best as an elementary kid could accomplish. But then I started to have a fit again and it all went down the drain. From being an outcast to being the freak who didn't like school. I didn't mind it; I spent most of my days there, anyhow. From 6am till 6pm. It was like a combined school and the only thing that kept me going through was the fact that someone, a 'friend', seemingly accepted me as her 'friend'. It didn't take me long after that to realize that, and it gave me the fit. And then I hated school. I was alone at home, I was an outcast at school. Other kids pointed and laughed at me. Sometimes I have nightmares about it and I wake up with tears streaming down my face. It didn't seem unfair to me at the time, just because I couldn't get along, they separated me. There was like a line between 'normal kids' and 'strange kids'.
One girl had my fate. Only she was far more worst. She was almost treated like an animal. I can still see the look on other people's faces, and I knew what they had thought. That she was horrid. It wasn't her fault; it was just that she just born with a skin condition that made her face... um, different. I don't want to say strange, because I was also in her place. Sometimes I'd meet her and I felt sorry towards her. But I knew that she wouldn't accept pity -- if I were in her place, I wouldn't either. But I felt some kind of serene feeling, because somewhere, someone close to me knew who I'd been feeling. Of course, I wasn't proud of it, it was just.. I don't know, relieving to some extent.

Then there was this teacher who was the nicest person in the whole wide world, it seemed. Even after lunch breaks (luxurious lunch meals, I'd say, since it's almost always my favourite -- tomato rice and honey chicken) she'd treat the whole class to some snacks. Keropok lekor, haha. When you're a little kid, anything that's a treat becomes good to you, even if it's not all that expensive and what not. I guess she wanted my classmates to like her. I did, anyways. But one time, everything was thrown away. The whole class was being noisy and I ran away to the back of the class, wishing I could scream the screams away. I still remember how I retreated to the back, holding my hands over my ears because the class was being too much. And the teacher, unfortunately, couldn't control them anymore. She ran out, tears streaming down her cheeks. I didn't dare look at her going away, because it'd be too much for me. All I know is, after that incident, I never saw her again. :'(

I changed school in fourth grade and I changed. I suppose I peeled off my old self because I was given the chance to start over. It was one of those bliss feelings you feel; that no one around you knows what happened in the past, and they know you as you are now, not as the person you used to be. And they couldn't judge you for it for they didn't know of all that happened. But the bliss feeling didn't really last for I was still in the dreaded religion school (that most kids go to after their morning school). Worst because I was always alone. Feelings distracted me and I wasn't a smart kid. I had to struggle with my grades there, and just when I was getting better, I started another fit. I used to go to school all by myself, on a bus. But my mother started sending me when I started not wanting to go to school. I'd sit at the back of the house with my hands around my knees. Eventually my parents found out. Of course, at that age, sympathy wasn't something I paid attention to. But sure, one time or another, I felt sorry for my parents. I was this kid who embarrassed them.

Bla bla bla, I just remember this man at the stationery store (Koperasi, now) who started acknowledging me. As far as I'm concerned, he was the only person who recognized my existence. And I'm always grateful for it, up until now.

But yeah, when I changed school, I thought everything was getting better. On my part, anyways, it did. I got two great best friends who were always by my side. Literally, too. And I was always in the middle when they'd start quarrelling about something silly, with both of them telling me to not talk to one another. I thought it was funny. I became a prefect, when I met Nuzul and my whole life changed. First guy to EVER talk to me. Ever. ..... Ever. Not even for a question. But... yeah, things are not always as you want them to be.

There was this boy in my class who was constantly bullied. (Before I ever became a prefect) I don't know if it was because he was black, or because he wasn't liked by the other boys. Not that all the boys despised him, I'm sure he had friends outside the classroom. ... Or not. He'd be thrown against the locker (we don't have lockers, just one that's placed in every classroom), kicked around and such and such. Just thinking about it now makes me cringe to no end. Nobody tried to save him and as far as I'm concerned, my teacher wasn't too... um, how do I say this? She just didn't care. And that crushed me. I hated seeing it, but I couldn't stop it. Reason being that, if I tried to stand up to him, he'd be beaten up worst. Imagine a girl standing up to a guy being beaten to death. How would that look like? Only he wasn't beaten to death, he was just constantly beaten. I was always surprised at how he never failed to show up at school everyday. If I were him, I'd just throw a fit and demand to be changed school. Or at least do SOMETHING. I mean, you're being kicked around like some trash. Doesn't that make you want to run away?

Duh... I think I've ranted a bit too much. Not that I expect anyone to read this, I just like to blog to get this out of my chest. (: It's hard with a diary -_-; also since mine is too full of crush crap and all that. And I just generally don't like writing with a pen. Some things I do, some things I don't. I always seem to remember the fact that my mother used to be mad at me for writing for my left hand. *shrugs*

I guess I'm ending it here.
Au revoir, moi cherie.

'Kancil'.

I just drove one. Yes, this baby up here.

Haha, funny story; two times I've been driving it, it stops just as I finished driving.

I completely forget that you were supposed to hold on to the clutch as you park.

Well, in self-defense, I'm not a very good driver and I don't remember these things.

What's even funnier is that, the first time I drove it, my father actually let me drive.

I actually was just kidding with him.

The story is this;

My mother wants to buy a new car. Several times I asked for it, but she had/has every good reason to say 'no'. First of all, the car's almost 10 years old. Secondly, who would pay for the road tax? Car insurance? I'm still studying and I'm far from getting a job.

So.

Last Sunday, after picking me up from the hostel, my parents went into this... car showroom place. You know, with the salesmen and all. And being myself, I laid around the couch with my baby brother and listened to the music in my phone. Reason being, I hate listening to all the haggling and empty promises. It's best that I don't ruin my perfectly good mood that day.

And, I suppose my parents decided to not buy the Mazda3 car there.

Lemme get the picture for you...

Ain't she cute? Cool, too. The steering wheel is just.. dashing. There's just no other word for it.

And so, from wanting to buy the beau, my mother would have to sell her current car. Because no matter how my sister would need one for her next semester for university, we don't really need three cars. Two is more than enough.

And since, my mother wants to sell off her car, she'd need one to go to work/school. So the person (according to my father's telling last night, the guy's a pilot. Woo.) gave us the Kancil, or maybe the guy (third party/my father's friend) provided us, until the Pilot guy can pay my mother her money. I don't know the exact number, but from what I heard from the salesperson last Sunday, around RM11K.

So... there's this, neither of my parents dare to drive the Kancil. Since it's manual. According to my mother, small cars are usually manual, with the gears and all, or else if it's automatic, it might become too much of a heavy load. Thus related to problems going uphill and stuff. Just like when you go uphill with a small car, and you turn on the air conditioning too high. Either you're stuck up there, or you don't even stand a stand to climb the said hill. Lol. Have fun trying that out.

My parents don't dare drive the car, but when it comes to me driving it, my father likes to criticize or just won't shut up. Sorry, that sounds rude, but that's exactly how it is. I'd like to see him drive the Kancil without the car dying halfway.

Meh.

Now let's go to another story!

I'm actually just back from driving and sending my baby brother, Danneh. I think I was too nervous while driving, but I had fun, since I went around to driving in front of my last high school. Ah, the memories I had there. The place where I met Eka, and all of my wonderful classmates and schoolmates. Arina and all of them.. Damn, I miss them. Oh well.

It took me almost an hour trying to wake Danneh up. I don't mean to spoil him by being too nice to him -- I'm just not always nice to him. Besides, I've been busy with studying, and we haven't gotten ready together for a long while.

Then I fixed up his breakfast (though he's 'fasting'. He fasts like... half-day max) and we set off. I was a bit hesitant, but it got better along the way while I was driving. I'm starting to get comfortable, honestly. My father even offered to give me the car keys to let me drive, but it was late last night and I wanted a good night's sleep -- something I don't always get to have. Though his reason was great; that he said I needed to get used to driving. Don't know why. It's not like I'd be able to drive after the car's returned and mother getting her new car. Unless he has other plans that I don't want to think of right now.

And yeah, now I'm back home and blogging, obviously.

Lmao, 'Like a G6' by The Far East Movement is playing right now. It reminds me of this video of the two girls in my hostel dancing to it. LOL. 'From too much studying'. Oh yeah. Too much studying makes me go crazy, too. That's why I need some time off after every hour to stimulate my mind, by playing games on my phone or just a walk around in my room.

Well...

Yesterday I got this offer from UiTM, and it made me have second thoughts. In the end, after much talking from my parents and my wife and some friends, I decided that by going would be the best for me. Besides, the only thing I was afraid of, was that I might not find enjoyment in Statistics as I enjoyed TESL. I mean, probably because I am relatively good in English in general. But since I always underestimate myself (proven that, even when I've studied like forever for the tests and exams I've had, I always seem to get the highest/one of the highest marks and I'd find the questions too easy and I even laughed a little at them) I gathered up the confidence, that yes, I can do Statistics. I love maths, so what the hell? Who cares if it's considered a boring course to most people I know? My parents said it'd be easy to get a job -- bank, anything to do with money and along the line. I only hope that this is the best for me, and that Allah is satisfied with the many prayers I've given Him. Sometimes Allah is the only one you have. True, for me, at least.

Hmm.. 'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato is now playing. This song always gives me inspiration and hope.

Though I'm sad to end, I think the few reading this would have enough of my rantings.

I end my post here.

Yours truly,

Nureh.

New day.

New beginning. New... whatever, new.

I feel weird every time I start to write on my blog. Probably been missing it out for too long, that I actually feel guilty coming back to it, and having it welcome me with opened arms. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Oh well. Maybe it's just my morning mood, plus the fact that my morning class has been canceled. All that 'I need to get up early on Wednesday' gone to waste.

By the way,

my blog is the only place left that I have to remind me of him. Yes, him.

Ahh.. I don't know what I'm supposed to rabble on in this post... I just feel so tired lately. More exhausted than tired. I think my emotions glass bottled is half-way through falling down the cabinet. Too much emotions pouring out and being used.

I suppose I can't complain. It's the only way I know I'm still alive.

Similar to my scars.

The three scars on my right hand; one just on my wrist, were all made by the ones I loved. My best friend, my Zel and my Mimie. (The two later ones are my favourite cats, the ones I taught tricks to -- also the ones that were the most clingy among my other cats) Scars that are most visible, anyway. Meaning the ones that never ceases to go away. Just... there. Telling me to remember. The cries to help me go through the toughest days, the loneliest nights, the most broken down state I'll ever be in...

Like a small part of my wife. Yes, small.

Nothing can ever compare to her. She's just... totally in a different category. I can't even begin to comprehend how she makes me feel in words. She's just.. Maya. Not in a such a way. I mean, she's different. She makes me feel real. Alive. ... No, more than alive.

Chosen few people can make me feel like a person, but she makes me feel alive.

I cry for her, I laugh for her, I breathe for her. Only Allah can begin to comprehend my feelings. Because clearly, I can't.

I can't tell her how much I love her. How much I need her. How much I want to held by her. How much -I- want to -be- there for her. It's a foreign feeling. And if it wasn't for her, it's been so long since I've felt so loved and needed by anyone. Anyone.

Ugh, see? Every time she crosses my mind, I start doing this; talking and talking.

Endless.

That either means I'm too sleepy, or I've been thinking too much..

I feel weird today, have I said that? I feel extraordinarily weird today... Hm.

I stumbled upon this LDR (Long Distance Relationship) blog just a while ago. Which made me think of my blog. Which made me do this post. Lol. I guess you should blame it. Blame it for my babbling. Or you can put the blame on me. :P

Ahh.. now the headache shall settle in. That means I should REALLY stop and take a break.

Oh well.

I suppose I could go and watch some Detective Conan or something (if only it'd load!)

Till next... rabble, good day.

Today marks...

The first time I came home by myself! Weee. -Proud-

Haha, so, since it's my first time, ALONE, a lot of things happened. Maybe that's why I'm so tired right now. I should put that into consideration...

Hmm. Where should I start?

Well, I WALKED from the dorm to the train station. Coming out at 14:00-ish, and arriving at around 14:30. So then, since my friend taught me beforehand, I was happy to go around knowing the directions. ^-^ Despite my lack of directions. -Ahem-

And yeah, I got on board, arriving at the right destination and stuff, drenched in sweat. Yes, drenched in sweat. People around me would've thought I ran a marathon. But it eventually, slowly, faded away by time.

Due to my clumsiness, I had to check my purse several times, just to make sure I don't leave anything important laying around anywhere. That was easier since I just had my backpack and my purse with me.

So then, on the way from the LRT changing to the KTM station, I was held back by this guy. Of which, I was already before, the first time I came home with my friend. And I decided to give him a chance to talk and so on and so forth. He talked for like 20 minutes, when he said it'd only take 2-3 minutes. Haha.

I had my earphones on. -Cough- Since I wear hijab, people don't notice this. Some. Very few. I'm pretty sure a wire hanging on my shirt would give them a clue. -Shrug-

The guy is like some kind of... service thing. Lol, I don't really know how to explain it. It's just like that, service thing. Insurance, stuff. And when he asked me my age (beforehand he asked if I were working or still studying)..

"How old are you?"

Me: "I'm 18."

Him: "Seriously? I'd thought you were.."

Me: "20+? I know. I get that a lot."

Him: "You just seem so mature."

Bla bla bla. I really get that a lot. One time this man asked me if I were married. Shocker. It would've been more realistic if I had my gold ring on at that time..

Afterwards, I decided not to sign up, and FINALLY walk away, and was like, "Wow, he just spent 20 meaningless minutes with me. Woo. Thanks. xD" and right after, the train I was supposed to get on arrived. Just on time. Again, thanks.

For that while, I felt so exhausted. First, I was extremely thirsty. Thank God I wasn't fasting today. I would've felt so lifeless. Secondly, I was sooo hungry. I just had one decent meal for like, 3 days, I think? And the meal was so spicy, and sooo... whatever. I'm still thirsty and dying, by the way.

Arriving upon Nilai, I hurried to a shop where I purchased 100 Plus after convincing myself I REALLY, HONESTLY, needed a good, cold, isotonic drink. Wah, felt so good after that. But then I had to do more waiting, because upon my text to my mother that I arrived, she was just about to do her prayer.

So I walked around. Yes, me, who doesn't like clothes and shopping, actually walked around some shops. Particularly the flower shop, where I choked on my drink. xDD

Want to know why? I was drinking right before going past it, and... Adam's song 'Hi' came on and I almost, deliberately, spitted out the water in my mouth and choked. It's been so effin' long since I heard his voice, nor his song. (l) Brings back good memories. (:

Oh yeah, before I had purchased the drink, two girls came up to me and was like, "Do you know the way to Giant?"

I was like, "Giant Nilai?"

"Yeah, can it be reached by bus?"

Me: "I'm not sure, but I suppose you can go there by taxi? It's not that far from here."

Right after I said that, I was like, "Why the heck did I say that? We're in Nilai, of course it'd be Giant Nilai. -_-" And seconds after.. "Well, you never know. Maybe there's a lot of Giant around here that I might not know about." Self-conversation there for a moment.

I'm always surprised why people ask me these questions. Is it because I look nice and kind? Or is it due to the fact that there's nobody around to ask? I doubt that. There were a lot of people around. -Shrug- Maybe I look like a person people need to ask questions at. Maybe I should be a question booth now. Woo. From a walking dictionary... Well, questions booth is kind of like a walking dictionary, I guess.

Aww. I thought my rank would go up a bit.. ;(

Man, I should really get a drink.... I wonder if my roommates are asleep or not. They're probably not. =P They slept as I left for the train station, I don't know if they were even awake to take their laundry on time. Maybe I should've reminded them. Lol. I can't spoil them too much, though.

Like this morning for example, I woke up late on purpose. Especially since they said they're going to college at 11. So yeah, I didn't wake up as early as 7, also because I didn't want to go back to sleep afterwards. (P.S. we always do this. ALWAYS) So eventually I slept until I couldn't anymore and slipped away to the shower and getting ready. And then, Yan and Ekyne proceeded to do the same. It's been like that for the past two weeks that we've been roommates.

And I just realized why. Before I left the house, my roommates were talking and they were like, this morning I woke up early, but then I saw you guys still asleep, so I went back to sleep. I had to chuckle, because I kind of did the same, even though I'm STILL the first to wake up between the three of us. And we're always the last ones to go out. And especially because our class hasn't yet started. Yay for us.

Kinda, because WE JUST found out our schedule TODAY, and we STILL don't know when we start. I heard that we start Monday next week. Maybe that's true. Blah. I'm already home, what the heck.

MAN, I'm still thirsty. Gotta stop ranting about this in my spot and get my bum, and throat, to a drink. Haha.

Well, that's a mouthful. That's all for now.

~

Not afraid.

Yup, I'm not.

Yesterday I was at Mid Valley Megamall. My family and I walked for like 5 hours.. when I finally got back home, I could barely feel my legs. Though I still couldn't sleep after all that. Grr!!

Anyway, yes, to the title.

My mother and sister were looking at handbags. I'm not the type to look at all these stuff and things. I'm just not interested, sorry. :] I can walk with you, but if you're asking me to look at clothes, shoes, and all that; you're really asking for too much. Lol.

Anndddd... this song was playing.

I found myself mumbling to it... and this guy across me was rapping along to it. When I noticed it, I was like, smiling to myself. We were like singing along to the song. PS: The song is great! I love Eminem's recent songs. His rapping has really gone from great to epicness.

Oh, and to all my friends and to all the people leaving for matriculation today... Good luck! I'm still not sure where I'll be going. Still waiting. Haha, have been waiting for like 6 months now. It's okay though.

I seem to blog more; I don't know, maybe I just have more things to say, or I'm remembering my blog more and more since I'm gonna be gone next month. :(

I'm gonna miss my blog and my friends.

But I still have time left. Lotsa time.

-Out-

Blood.

No, I'm not gonna freak you out with some creepy pictures. (Maybe.)

Anyway... Hi! I've got some.. answers, I suppose. To my own questions.

The other day I was talking to my wife, Maya, about slitting wrists in the bathtub. Why? It's not because I was being suicidal or I'm thinking about it, or ANYTHING at all in the line. *coughs* Yeah, so it's because once upon a time, when I was in Form 3 (15 year old, for those not familiar with the forms), I stumbled on this book. Yes, I literally stumbled on it. I almost fell over. (awkward laugh) Nah, joking.

So yeah, this book was about this Polish woman with her family (I almost said 'he' there..) and stuff went on. Don't judge me, I don't remember half the things that happen in my life. And, yeah, so in this one particular chapter, her father, torn apart from humiliation (since they were living in a foreign country, you know how it goes) decided to slit his wrist.

And guess what? He placed his slitted wrist in a bowl of water.

Also, because I saw the video clip 'Perfect' by Pink.

The part where the girl, in the bathtub, with blood. Yeah. She slit her wrist, I came to that conclusion.

So it got me thinking... Why do people slit their wrists in the bathtub? Or the bowl of water? Is there some sort of explanation to it? Yes. Thank you Detective Conan.

Shinichi (Conan, the main character, genius detective [took me so long to spell that! xD]) solved this mystery, as usual.

http://www.anime44.com/detective-conan-episode-615

I won't spoil it to y- .. oh what the heck, I'm gonna spoil it to you anyway. =]

It's a two part episode (meaning the case had to be in two episodes [614-615]) where Shinichi and his friends went up to the mountain with the professor, Professor Agasa (sorry, I don't really know how to spell his name) and their car broke down on the way back. So Shinichi and the others had to stay whilst the professor went downtown with the tow truck. It started to rain so Shinichi decided that they had to take shelter. Bla bla bla, they went back to the villas they crossed before, and heard a peculiar tune. On a piano. Known as, Air on the G-String. If I'm not mistaken, it's by Bach. Yeah, Google it for me, will you? =P

On and on with the case, and in the end, the culprit had slit his wrist and placed it in a running hot water in the bathtub. (Again with the bathtub, right?)

Fuh, so long until the conclusion; this is where Shinichi (Conan, for those not catching up with the names) explains why.

Apparently, if you place your bleeding hand into hot water, or water in general I suppose, it prevents clotting of the blood. And I had to apply my Biology in here;

The Mechanism of Blood Clotting.

I have to take my book so that I know I got this right.

So, essentially, when you cut yourself, accidentally or not, the blood will naturally clot. Unless you have haemophilia, in which case; cut yourself and you'd literally bleed out to death.

I'm not gonna type out all the specifics, but I'll put some in as much as I can without sounding like a textbook.

1) When a blood vessel is damaged/cut/impaired, a tissue called the connective tissue in the vessel wall will be exposed to blood plasma.

2) Platelets that release chemicals known as clotting factors, making the surrounding platelets sticky, stick immediately to the connective tissue.

3) The forming of platelets becomes something called a platelet plug; that in turn, can stop blood completely, providing the impairment is small.

4) If said damage is severe, the plug has a backup; a clot of fibrin.

5) Platelets, damaged cells and clotting factors in the plasma (still with the blood) form activators (also knowns as thromboplastins).

6) Thromboplastins, acting with Ca+ and vitamin K, converts prothrombin (an inactive plasma protein) to thrombin (active plasma protein.)

7) Skipping out on all the names, in the end, the fibrin earlier aggregates, forming a 'bandage' over the wound, trapping red blood cells and sealing the wound.

The end.

And where's our question? Why slit your wrist and put it in running hot water?

Because it'll stop the formation of platelets, the proteins, preventing blood clotting thus making it easier for you to bleed out to death. If so you wish.

Long explanation and such a short answer, I know. But it's still good to know all those things.

Yes, so I'm ending. Goodbye.

I was reading..

Sharina Hwaiting!'s blog. :) Sorry if I spelled that wrong ! D;

So then I thought, hmmm, I haven't been updating my blog. *sadness*

Haha, and fortunately, I have something to say.

My father had just informed me that we are going to Pulau Pinang (my mother's hometown) for her uncle's child thing wedding. Whatever.

Hahaha.

Lol, so yeah, going to Pinang? Yayyy? I'm not sure.

I'm kinda sad to leave my lappy.... *sweatdrop* Technology sadness, much?

Yeah... and next week is UniKL registration day. 15th May.

I'm not sure what to think of it. I'm PROBABLY not going, seeing my parents' answers.

Though I have just completed an application form for KPTM (Kolej Poly-Tech Mara). Don't ask.

Hm.

Excited and anxious? Not a pleasant feeling. Feels like your stomach is churning and flipping all in the wrong places. Lmao. And next Monday is my next driving class. (Hurry to another soreness of my body.. -_-) Last Wednesday, I bruised my leg. I don't even know what I did. But it's pretty bad. Red and all. But now it's green, and that's a generally good sign. (Generally.)

It should get better.

My dislocated right shoulder and arm is okay now, though. I can actually move without flinching and saying, "Oww" every now and then.

Ohh, but I'm so tired right now. Don't know why.

Lack of sleep? Maybe. Maybe I'm just this tired all the time, who knows? o_O

So if I don't go online tomorrow... means I'm off to Pinang. Kinda excited 'cause then I can go on the ferry again. Though I'm seasick, ugh. Bad sea. Bad Amira.

Anyway, I think I'm done? o-o

'Till next time, whenever that would be.