Saturday, July 24, 2010


Okay, so I've been a little.... um, bombarded with unnecessary feelings.
Don't ask. It's complicated.
So I thought that blogging would help.

Where do I start?
Ah.. I haven't been well. It contributes, I guess, to the whole mood thing.
It's not pleasant, sure, it never is.
But sometimes it's stuff like this that makes us stronger.
Mah, that sounded so cliche.

Oh yeah, I was going to listen to the radio (American Top 40) but I thought it'd be best if I got rid of this ..particularly annoying thoughts.

I never have anything to say, but I end up babbling about nonsense.

Do you know the feeling?
When you thought that someone cared, they seemed to, but after a while, they.. like, act like you don't exist.
It's stupid, when I think it over. But I can't help it from upsetting me.
More upsetting is when I realize that.. I'm not anyone to disturb them.
Maybe they have a reason. ..Or an excuse.
Or maybe they just really didn't care in the first place. I don't know.

That's enough.

There hasn't been any events to speak of lately, so...

I guess I'm done?

Oh yeah.... next Friday I'm going to have to miss my Additional Mathematics class. Again.

My dad has some event, and my mom has to follow.. which would lead me to following because there's little Daniel.
It's not much. Just... stay in the hotel and take care of him.
It doesn't seem much of a task.
I'm kinda disappointed.

Not that I think the class is any important (even though it really is) but... It's just that, I feel that it's some sort of sacrifice.
Just like going to the hospital. Not that it could sound any weirder.
Or could it?
You know, leaving something behind.. wasting my dad's time on taking me there, when in the end, they find nothing.
I find it wasteful. When it ends in nothing productive.
And when something doesn't lead or end in something productive, it's a waste of time.
And I don't have time to waste.

Sounds like I'm making a mountain out of a mole?
A tornado in a cup? (Or whatever that idiom is now)

But I feel that way.
And whatever I feel, matters to me. No matter what people might say.
I hold back when people say their opinions. Or laugh about it.

Truth be told, strangely, I have the strangest urge to .. get mad when people laugh.
I don't know, maybe it's past experience.
I'm trying to let go of it, because it's not exactly something.. particularly good in holding in.
Like feelings. But that's another story.

Also like, falling objects. I overreact.
Usually when I'm washing dishes, and one of the plates move just slightly, I become berserk with it. Only realizing it was just a flinch.
It doesn't make me feel stupid (as it should) only feel more.. um, upset, I guess.

And there goes my brother.
We have a certain KPI for Saturday nights. If you don't know what KPI is... Google it or something. Lol. Sorry, my mind is not working right now.
We're supposedly going to the mosque or the small scale one. (No, it's not literally small scale, it's just not a mosque. -.-;)

I'm going to go now.
Seeeee yaaaa. Have a nice day, fellow friends.