Friday, August 22, 2008


Third song in my mp3 .-.

Helena - Mcr
One of the many songs I can actually listen to without my mom saying, "Amira, you shouldnt listen to songs like these, they're bad." Bla bla bla..

Fourth- I dont love you - Mcr
I think this song just never dies. =D

Fifth- What's left of me- Nick Lachey
My cousin, Ira, has been telling me to delete this song, but no... never Ira. .__. I'm keeping this till the end, maybe till you're gone..

Sixth- Only one - Yellowcard.
Like gosh.. how long has it been? This song helped me in SO many ways, I dont even know where to start.

7- I'm off with all those shites..
Time is running out - Muse
^-^ I like this song, more than I like you at least. .___.

8-Because of you - Kelly Clarkson
Okay.. so Miss Winner of American Idol 3 caught MY attention too .-.;
My parents may not be happy with being together but at least they aint divorced ^-^v

9-Flavour of the week - Bowling for soup
This song literally rocks, some people even told me so.

10- When we die - Bowling for Soup
Hmmm... this was my profile song for a while, Myspace that is.

11- If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield
No comment, dont ask or you die. ~________~

12- Behind these hazel eyes- Kelly
Err.. I dont know what to say. .-.;

That's all, I've got like 71 minus 12 songs more to go but I'm.. currently on a headache, so later. -_-;

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Out of my head, out of my mind.

So.. yeah, ever since I came back from the darn 'trip', I've been thinking.. and not to mention, skipping some classes along the way. They dont even learn, I am bitching on going to school just for that shit. I'd rather stay home and just THINK.

Calm yourself Amira. God, yes, I know I know. You've told me a thousand times and it's so touching, it makes me want to puke. Not nice? Then shit off. Fine, I'll leave ya but I'm always open, if you know what I mean. People say that.. but do they ever mean it?!! No, dont think so mate. =/

Mp3- Imma list all songs, just bear with me for this hour and so on, kays? Alright.


...Ignorance is bless~
Oh yes, Kelly Clarkson =D
Never again.
reason it's put in my mp3, I don't know. o-o It was JUST there, like omg, I know xD

uhh... stickwifu, I think.
Yes, yes, that's the one. By pcd, like who doesnt know?

Third, I almost spelled it thrid xD
Ah.. too darned lazy now, I'll continue it off later. -.,.-

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I'm mad and confused

I'm confused, what should I do?
First of all, Hey! =] Just came back from grandma's, I'm sleeping there tonight too.
You know what?
On Tuesday morning, this friend of mine said to me : "You and him already clash?"
I'm like all blank "Who? Wha..?"
Then she said "Oh, you know, Josh."
And with a nod I said, "Oh, oooohhhh."._____.;

But then I'm like.. "When did I ever say I was with him though?" o-o
THAT was so sudden, I just got to school and was very sleepy. (Good thing I crossed the road safely, since I didnt even watch out.)
..Hmm, what else..?

Oh yeah! Today we didnt have any class. =0 We stayed in the.. whatever it's called in English, cant remember. xD
We had some diagnostic tests in Mathematics. One of the modules was SOO easy, I laughed non-stop. xP

And for some reason, I've been avoiding this guy. .-.; Just that everytime I see him, I have to turn back or whatever I do. .__.
My friend said he likes me and I'm like "..Gawd."
Dying sounds good by now. ^___^;

Oh no no. I've promised and I plan to keep it unfortunately. -___-
And, I'm listening to some Fall out Boy; Infinity on high. That album rocks but it aint like I have it or anything, I just have them songs.
For some reason, I'm really mad when I see this drama series 'Ezora.'
The girl looks like.. someone..
Ira just said that I miss her, I mean it's normal. How could you not miss someone you've cared for real, but she left. Oh well..

Er.. I dont think I'm missing anything, am I?
Gawd, I'm like so sleepy right now, even though I've slept the evening. And I'm going to have issues falling asleep tonight, I can feel the temptation within me to sit in a corner and just cry.
Sometimes, I think I'm so stupid. xD
I mean, I always think that I am.

Hmm, I think I'll stop for now. Gotta go pack and whatnot, and maybe, I'll try calling Maya so I can sleep better tonight.
Last night, I called Ame. =] And this guy wanted to walk with me. xD But I just told him to leave me and walk alone. =P
What a fun night that was..

Saturday, August 9, 2008

For all the while..

I dont know, I blog when I'll.. when I feel something.

On Friday, a bunch of guys tried to threaten me -_- they stole my phone, but in the end they apologized and gave it back, shukran. I told them this, "Next time, why dont you just break it into a million pieces and I would have never cared!" ~.~

Of course, I was mad. But I just said, "Well, it's hard not to. Just.. dont do it again please, this is something important and I cant afford to lose it."

Oh well, things happen. And.. we got our Maths back. I.. failed, total failure. I'm so stupid, I tried so hard but nothing seems to go my way. Why, why?! Amira, calm down.
Yeah, I probably should. It's not like me to get all fed-up by something so stupid and out of world, it's just that.. well, everything seems wrong now and I dont know how to fix them.
Dont know what to do, where to begin, who to turn to and why..

You had a bad day, that's all.

Hey, you came back.

I was always here Amira, you just dont notice me.

I put the blame on the day, it just keeps getting worse.

Dont, look straight ahead, Dont look back.


Trust me, just dont regret, it's a sin remember?

Hmm, guess you're right. Everything will be back..

To normal and you will too Muffin. Just look straight ahead and turn to those whom you trust.

But who..?

A lot of people is out there for you Darling.

Promise me you'll come back Ira..

I will, soon I hope. I cant wait to come back, I miss you so much Cousin!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Rebellious.. and I have found love!

Yup, just like the title said, rebellious. I have been quite rebellious.. as in.. I dont wanna do this, I dont wanna do that because people keep telling me to do this, do that. Avoid this, avoid that. Mah, what am I? A robot to obey? ~_~

Enough ranting, I'm tired. Yup, I've been tired and dont be surprised if I dont get on after this. Not like I have a choice, my step sister's keeping me away from the internet. My excuse is the trials and tomorrow's the last paper, shukran. -__-

Hmmm, thank god Fara's finally coming back here in October, I feel happy for her. ^___^
So now, before I go, I wanna say that... uh.. I found love again!!!!! =D

No comment on that, you'll know when I come back. Hopefully when I do.. if I have time..or if I find the need to... Bye, gotta go to tuition! :3

My winning essay =D

Reading is essential in one’s life. It is the basic of everything. From learning the alphabets to constructing long and detailed paragraphs is a part of it all. Good essays come from good knowledge of the topic and good use of the language such as the tenses and ingenious words. One of the problems with people these days is that the habit of reading is decreasing within the society. There are numerous ways in developing the reading habit.
One of the reasons that people don’t like to read is that their parents don’t encourage them from early stages of their childhood. Parents must encourage their children to read when they are still young. Short stories like Cinderella can boost an interest start to the child towards reading. Parents reading bedtime story to children is also a good way to impart the reading habit.
The phrase ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ is saying to not judge a person by their looks. A book with an appealing title might push a person’s interest towards it. A mysterious titled book with a mystifying cover works just as effective. One of the most published reading resources is the daily newspaper. Not only does it contain good writing, it also provides information on the recent issues that involves the global community.
One of the ways to improve one’s general knowledge is to have a consistent schedule of fair reading. Of course the reading habit doesn’t come naturally as it has to be developed through interest and thorough reading of novels and such. Thus it unconsciously makes one knowledgeable and a well-rounded person.
The reading habit is not only a noble habit to have, it also at the same time increase one’s knowledge as in learning new information that might help one pass exams and gradually become smarter. The reading habit also improves one’s language as in writing, English and social communication skills. It also boosts one’s self-esteem and self-confidence in using English in daily life and not be embarrassed to make simple mistakes.
On the whole, the reading habit brings many advantages to the community in providing useful information to the people that makes Malaysians a well-read society and at par with other leading countries.

Told you there were more to that other post <_<

Depression is a disease that afflicts the human psyche in such a way that the afflicted tends to act and react abnormally toward others and themselves. Therefore it comes to no surprise to discover that adolescent depression is strongly licked to teen suicide. Adolescence suicide is now responsible for more deaths in youths ages 15-19 than cardiovascular disease or cancer. Despite this increased suicide rate, depression in this age group is greatly under-diagnosed and leads to serious difficulties in school, work and personal adjustment, which may often continue to adulthood.
Brown, in 1996, has said the reason why depression is often over looked in children and adolescents is because “children are not always able to express how they feel.” Sometimes the symptoms of mood disorders take on different forms in children than in adults. Adolescence is a time of emotional turmoil, mood swings, gloomy thoughts, and heightened sensitivity. It is a time of rebellion and experimentation. Blackman observed that the “challenge is to identify depressive symptomatology which may be superimposed on the backdrop of a more transient, but expected, development storm.”
Therefore, a diagnosis should not lie only in the physician’s hands but be associated with parents, teachers and anyone who interacts with the patient on a daily basis. Unlike adult depression, symptoms of youth depression are often masked. Instead of expressing sadness, teenagers may express boredom and irritability, or may choose to engage in risky behaviours. Mood disorders are often accompanied by other psychological problems such as anxiety, eating disorders, hyperactivity, substance abuse, all of which can hide depressive symptoms.
The signs of clinical depression include marked changes in mood and associated behaviours that range from sadness, withdrawal, and decreased energy to intense feelings of hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. Depression is often described as “an exaggeration of the duration and intensity of normal mood change” (Brown 1996). Key indicators of adolescent depression include a drastic change in eating and sleeping patterns, significant loss of interest of previous activity interests, constant boredom, disruptive behaviour, peer problems, increased irritability and aggression. Blackman proposed that “formal psychologic testing may be helpful in complicated presentations that do not lend themselves easily for diagnosis.” For many tends, depression arises from poor family relations, which could include decreased family support and perceived rejection by parents. Oster & Montgomery, in 1996, stated that “when parents are struggling over marital or career problems, or are ill themselves, teens may feel the tension and try to distract their parents.” This “distraction” could include increased disruptive behaviour, self-inflicted isolation and even verbal threats of suicide. So how can the physician determine when a patient should be diagnosed as depressed or suicidal? Brown suggested the best way to diagnose is to “screen out the vulnerable groups of children and adolescents for the risk factors of suicide and then refer them for treatment.” Some of these “risk factors” include verbal signs of suicide within the last three moths, prior attempts at suicide, indication of severe mood problems, or excessive alcohol and substance abuse. Many physician tend to think of depression as an illness of adulthood. In fact, Brown stated that “it was only in the 1980’s that mood disorders in children were included in the category of diagnosed psychiatric illnesses.” In actuality, 7-14% of children will experience an episode of major depression before the age of 15. An average of 20-30% of adult bipolar patients report having their first episode before the age of 20. In a sampling of 100,000 adolescents, two to three thousand will have mood disorders out of which 8-10 will commit suicide. In 1995, Blackman remarked that the suicide rate for adolescence has increased more than 200% over the last decade. Brown added that an estimated 2,000 teenagers per year commit suicide in the United States, making it the leading cause of death after accidents and homicide. Blackman stated that it is not uncommon for young people to be preoccupied with issues of mortality and to contemplate the effect their death would have on close family and friends.
Once it has been determined that the adolescent has the disease of depression, what can be done about it? Blackman has suggested two main avenues to treatment: “psychotherapy and medication.” The majority of the cases of adolescent and depression are mild and can be dealt with through several psychotherapy sessions with intense listening, advice and especially those with constant symptoms, medication may be necessary and without pharmaceutical treatment, depressive conditions could escalate and become fatal. Brown added that regardless of the type of treatment chosen, “it is important for children suffering from mood disorders to receive prompt treatment because early onsets place children at a greater risk for multiple episodes of depression throughout their life span.”
Until recently, adolescent depression has been largely ignored by health professionals, but now several means of diagnosis and treatment exists. Brown says, “Although most teenagers can successfully climb the mountain of emotional and psychological obstacles that lie in their paths, there are some who find themselves overwhelmed and full of stress.” With the help of teachers, school counselors, mental health professional, parents, and other caring adults, the severity of a teen’s depression can not only be accurately evaluated, but plans can be made to improve his or her wellbeing and ability to full engage life.

....Err... Hm.. It's kinda hard for me to understand this, but I'm sure you do.

Abortion- Another word for Muurrder ._.

No need to state the obvious; everyone knows what abortion is. Then why do so many people push the issue aside as if it were a piece of junk? We live in a world, a society so corrupt that to kill the innocent, the unborn, is just another part of the day.
The western media portrays sexual intercourse as a right passage for teenagers and does not say it does not. Any person in modern society, especially in the United States, can tell you that as soon as the TV is switched on, you are almost bound to find explicit scenes of a sexual nature.
As more and more teens are inclined by peers and the media to have sex, the tendency to actually have sex also inclines. Commercials for condoms and other contraceptives are all over the place. But what if the condom rips or doesn’t work? BOOM! Someone’s girlfriend gets pregnant. What does she do? Nowadays, it seems that the typical decision would be to have an abortion; either to have partial birth or full term. Modern society in general has condoned this inhumane act to be normal. What people don’t seem to realize is that they are killing an INNOCENT human being. Yes; no matter what you believe, no matter what you’d like to say what that woman is holding in her womb, it is a human being.
But what is the girl is raped you ask? There are many positions on the section of abortion. Just because the girl is raped and impregnated does not give anyone the right to kill the unborn child. No, she probably did not wish to become pregnant, and no she definitely did not want to be raped but killing the unborn child is still murder. She’s killing her own child whether she wants to admit it or not. Sadly, many people do not seem to comprehend the seriousness of this.
Abortion is truly just another name for murder. Why do people not see it as such? Because no gun or knife is used. In partial birth abortion, the woman is forced into labour and once the baby is out, it is stabbed in the back of the head with scissors. Its brain is then sucked out from the back of its head. And yes, babies do feel pain. Asking a question so insane is ridiculous.
Well why is abortion such an issue you wonder? Because someone out there may be killing the next Einstein. Maybe the next Shakespeare. Was the unborn fetus human? Of course.
A woman walks into an abortion clinic one day and has a partial birth abortion. She walks out a few hours later, child-ridden, drugged up on pain killers, and maybe a little tired. The baby was killed and disposed of. At the same instant, somewhere else, someone stabbed an old person to death for no particular reason. What is the difference between the two? Besides the age of the two victims, essentially, there is none. Two innocent human beings were killed.
In Harper Lee’s To kill a Mockingbird, Atticus says, “… but to kill a mockingbird is a sin.” Read in context Atticus means that it is wrong to kill the mockingbird because all it does is make music. It’s done nothing to you so why should you kill it? The same goes for abortion. The baby has done no harm to anyone, so why are you killing it?

No comment. I dont know myself, just found this somewhere. ^-^;

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


This is the end
you know
Lady, the plans we had went all wrong
We aint nothing but fight and shout and tears

We got to a point
I cant stand
I've had it to a limit I cant be your man
I aint more than a minute away from walking

We cant cry the pain away
We cant find the need to stay
I slowly realized there's nothing on our side

Out of my life
Out of my mind, out of the tears we cant deny
We need to swallow all out pride and leave this mess behind
Out of my head, out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had they're bad
Tell them it's me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad

Another night and I bleed
They all made mistakes and so did we
But we did something we can never turn back right
Find a new one you fool
Leave and dont look back; I wont follow
We have nothing left
It's the end of our time

We cant cry the pain away
We cant find the need to stay
There's no more rabbits in my hat to make things right

Out of my life
Out of my mind, out of the tears we cant deny
We need to swallow all our pride and leave this mess behind
Out of my head, out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had they're bad
Tell them it's me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad..

Hmm, this song brings back memories. Of the good times, bad or not I do not care. It reminds me of Fara and whatnot.
I wanna see her =/ but I'm just hoping they come back soon, Malaysia's great! Or not, I dont know but I feel great here. .-.;
Lalala~ bedtime's at 11 now so.. I better scurry off.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Difference between Sex and Gender >_>;

In today’s society sex and gender seem to have two separate connotative meanings. Sex is a more scientific term that explains physical traits and sexual preferences. Gender carries a more social tone. Meaning that it refers to the different clothing, activities, career choices, and positions people hold in society. A person’s social status helps separate or classify the two sexes.
Sex is the total sum of physical characteristics that distinguish males and females from each other. The most distinctive difference in characteristics is that men and women have different reproduction organs. This is pretty obvious and so are other traits like facial hair, voices and muscular builds. It would be a genuine amazement if you were to see a six-foot tall, five-inch bearded lady who sounds like Elvis Presley. (.__.;; Yuppers, that would be so wicked and horrifyingly ridiculous. xD)
That brings me to my other definition of sex. Sex is also known as the preference of sexual partner or mate that one desires. A person’s preference determines their sexual identity. There are three types of preferences. First there are heterosexual people who prefer people of the opposite sex. There are homosexual people who prefer partners of the same sex. And then there are bisexual people who like to have partners of either sex.
The environment that some people are raised in contributes to confusion about their sexual identity. Some people say that these preferences were present the day that they were born. I feel that it is one’s own choice what preference they choose. No one is born straight or gay (xD True said.). Certain traits may get mixed up when dealing with people who like to cross-dress (It’s fashion? O.o ) Those are people who like to dress like the opposite sex. Some people get sex change operations and become transsexuals. There are even people who are born with both a male and female organs. (o_o That’d be like so wicked..) They are called hermaphrodites.
Gender consists of social classifications that help determine sex. With the rapid changes in gender equality it is not as easy to separate sex by what a person does for a living. What position they hold in society or a household is not a good indication either. Years ago I could have said that if a person is a police officer, a soldier, a fireman, a politician, a lawyer, a doctor or any type of highly paid professional than that person must be a man. Back then this would have been a good hypothesis. The father was the man of the house. The minister was always male and there was no such thing as women in sports.
I could have probably also said that if a person was a secretary, a grade school teacher, a receptionist, a nurse, a maid, or a homemaker then that person must be a woman. People in the female group or gender worked lower paying less demanding jobs because it was believed that a woman could not handle the pressures that a “a man’s job” required.
With the absence of the father figure in many broken homes, women have taken over as head of the house (I stick with Daddy, just to say. ._.) They juggle home and work to keep their families together so that they can properly raise their children.
Gender is a tricky term to define. I think that gender should be left up to people to interpret themselves. The term gender is a little sexist because it associates sex with social status. As for me I think that gender is a little outdated. Sex is sufficient enough classification to separate men, women, and the people who are confused about what they are.

:0 Wow.. Enough said, I won’t understand anyway. xD
I have known many adolescents who have thought about suicide (including moi!). People’s reasons for suicide jus cannot be legit in most cases. Some reasons are: “My girlfriend broke up with me” or “people make fun of me” or how about “I don’t have any friends?” Whatever the reason for the thoughts of suicide, there isn’t a valid one, unless we are dealing in euthanasia.
People usually think suicide is the best and only solution to an insignificant problem. (I probably think so too. .__.) They do not think about the consequences or the people they may hurt in the process. So what if you total your car, or if some people don’t like you and you aren’t the most beautiful and popular there is. It all matters on what you think about yourself. (My case is that my death would put an end to everything that is associated to me, like so and so.)
One might think: well how would he know these people feel? I know because I too thought about suicide at one point in my life. But after evaluating the situation and putting some thought into how I not only would be creating the biggest sin (and be sent to hell) there is, but how I will hurt my family and the ones who love me. (I can spend hours thinking about that list..) I came to grips with reality and realized that there are much better things in life than to sit and sulk about stupid, insignificant problems that occurred in my day. So what? That’s life. (I totally agree!)
Suicide is not a solution to any problem. It only makes things worse and complicated. Depressed people are not the only one to commit suicide. A person who could seem to be the happiest, most outgoing person you know could kill themselves and you would never be able to figure out why. (I am happy in a retarded way.) People just sporadically think that suicide is the best solution to al their problems. But what they don’t think about is that they won’t have any problems because they will be dead.
Overall, I think suicide is pointless and most people will agree that it is the worst possible solution to any problem. (She just left him like that, how could she..) There is no excuse whatsoever to take your own life. Any person should be thankful for what they have, they may not have all the money in the world or be the best looking person ever, but even the people who seem to have everything one could want, may not have happiness. (Just like those princess stories?)

As I have time..

It's been ages, Doll-chan! I miss you all, so, so much! I've been busy lately, as you may know, exams. Urgh..

I've stopped feeling.. suicidal I guess. But I dont know, it'd come back soon. xDD Bleh, you seen Ira? She's been avoiding us, I just hope she isnt.. leaving soon.. I need her to get through the trials.. Goddamnit! Shush Amy, watch your mouth. x_X

Hmm... darn, tomorrow's history and Maths.. I dont wanna go ~_~;

Yup, so before I ran off, I wanna say my gratitudes to some.. friend shall I say.

Not much is remembered of her, just that she made me what I am now. A good friend, abandoned me so I could be free? I dont know, cant give a damn to what she said to me that day but she changed me for live and I'm glad.
So.. I wanna thank her, wherever she is right now. ^_^;

As for you, Amy, wash your mouth in soap, which means my mouth.. then no!!

Au revoir me amours!