Tuesday, April 3, 2012


When I was small (not in size), I used to question a lot of things. Not that I grew out of it. I just stopped being so silly in questioning. But below the age of 13, I had a lot of questions that I wanted answers to.


"How people be so confident in one another that they decide to get married and live with each other?"

"Why do men like women? HOW do men know they're supposed to like women? What'd happen if women like women?"

Take note that I wasn't aware of homosexuality at the time, so I just didn't know. I wanted to ask, but there was a part of me, that settled in deep, deep inside of me that said, "Nobody's going to answer your questions." And I believed that part of me. So, I once had believed in me. The subjective me. The fact that I refer to myself in the third person doesn't really mean that's changed, it's just that I see myself better when seeing myself as another person other than myself. If I were to explain in details, it'd take ages.

Back to the topic, I liked using the word 'but'.

I'll give an example;

I didn't understand why I couldn't use silverware (if that's the right word? I'm meaning, forks, spoons, such and such...) using my left hand. I could obey to the fact that I'm supposed to eat when not using silverware using my right hand, because, well, for one, the left hand is correlated with the washing of, uhm, you know what.
And my Mathematics teacher, Ms Van Driesen (Ms. D, sorry I don't know the correct spelling of your name) told my class a tale of why the right angled triangle is called a right angled triangle instead of a left angled triangle. You know, the one with the 90 degree angle symbolized with the shape of a square at the corner of the triangle. Bah. Let me just get you the picture.

My teacher explained that in the old days, they believed the left-handers (and probably just about anything to do with with left) are not a good thing, so they named it right angled instead of left angled. And the fact that the triangle is always almost drawn with the square on the right side. Apart from me, of course, I sometimes did it on the left. I mirrored it just to spite it.
You know, I had bad experience with my being left-handed. My mother used to scold me for using my left hand to write, draw, such and such... But I stuck it out. Sometimes I praise, sometimes I don't. To be honest, most of the time I spite it. I spite my hand. Yeah, the truth is stranger than fiction indeed. Me spiting being scolded still ended up in me hating on something I've been believing in. The ground I thought was real. But it was. I'm beginning to think I'm going out of topic...

That's how it was.

I questioned it. I got mad. I got furious. I flipped. I thought it all nonsense. But it was because no one was willing to provide me with the answer that not I want, but the answer that I need to believe.

I told the following to my room mate, Dianah, and she simply said these words,

"I heard there are bad consequences of using the left hand while eating."

And right there, I considered it all. See. All it takes is a simple question atop my question. Though don't do it most of the time. I'd probably just get more rebellious than I already am.

The point is, when you're trying to feed someone information, you don't scold them. You don't hit them. You DON'T force them to inhale the information. You do it nicely. In such gesture than the person will be able to accept it.

I read this article upon which the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) himself was encountered by this matter, though probably not in the manner. If you get the difference.

A young man came to the Prophet Muhammad, Rasulullah and wanted to repent and leave everything except for the sin of zina. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zina Here is the following link if you want to find out about it.

His statement received great criticism from the Sahaba' but Rasulullah is not one to judge the young man quickly. Instead of scolding him, the Prophet took the approach of conversing in a polite manner with the young man.

Rasulullah asked, "Would you like this to happen to your mother?"

The young man shook his head and said to Rasulullah, "By Allah's name, I do not wish so! Let Allah be my witness."

Rasulullah asked again, "Would you like this to happen to your daughter?"

Again the young man said the same thing. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) proceeded with asking about his aunt, his nieces and his sisters, if the man wanted the same thing to happen to them. Still the man said the same thing.

Rasulullah took the young man by the hand and asked Allah to forgive his sins and to clean him from wrong doings. There, at the point, the young man finally repented for his sin of zina.

Firstly, I do not recall the story correctly, so do not believe my words one on one, but it is what I read and the story is true. Just the way of how the story is told I put in a different way, a way I think is suitable.

I leave the moral of the story for you to find out and to apply in your life.

Don't use anger to make someone else understand anything. It never works. Trust me.


Sunday, April 1, 2012


I find it funny that I forget my password EVERYTIME I want to get on my blog. And I mean everytime. Like I have to reset my password. I have done that for like, I don't know, more than my fingers can count and my brain can remember.

Okay. I'm going to remember this password.

Anyway, hello people. I read my last post (as always) and I was talking about my Grammar test. As of now, I am officially done with my finals since 28th of March and yesterday was my first day on my two months semester break. So I may or may not be posting frequently.

I'm trying to figure where I should start with my post. Yes, I haven't started yet. I think.

Ketegasan insan bergelar puteri @ wanita

"Wahai puteriku, demi Allah
Jangan engkau percaya terhadap kata-kata
Bahawa mereka memandangmu kerana
Bicara denganmu seperti SAHABAT
Dan apabila bercinta denganmu seperti teman akrab
Sebenarnya mereka BOHONG!!
Jika engkau mendengar sendiri bualan mereka
Pasti engkau takut & ngeri
Hanya ditanganmu pintu segala kebaikan
Bukan di tangan kaum lelaki"

~Ali Thantawi~

First thing's first, I've decided to be on hijrah to be a better me. Above's a song that's getting very addictive to me. Kudos to my room mate that gave me it. My hijrah is not going to be easy, I know; but it's never easy to do good, never hard to do bad.

I just want to say this right here, but my life in UiTM has changed the way I perceive the way I see and think about a lot of things. There are a lot of things that I actually don't that I want to know about. There are a lot of things that I would like to do a research on.

My story;

Yesterday I went out with my family to the Giaint Supermarket to buy some necessary things for the household and for us (my older brother, my sister and myself) to eat. And as I have been telling myself, I'm going to try to wear long hijab starting from home, from me going to markets and stuff, because I made up my mind about wanting to wear it for the next semester. It was nerve-wrecking at first trying to wear it but I went through it with the help of Allah. My sister said it suited me. My mother raised her eyebrow and my father didn't say anything at all about it. Which I had thought was weird, since he always have something to say. I took that from him. Sometimes that's bad. But as I have taken the first step, now it's just time for the rests of my steps to Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala.

Just hope that I keep istiqamah until..... Until, well, until forever. Keep me in your prayers please.