Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I just drove one. Yes, this baby up here.
Haha, funny story; two times I've been driving it, it stops just as I finished driving.
I completely forget that you were supposed to hold on to the clutch as you park.
Well, in self-defense, I'm not a very good driver and I don't remember these things.

What's even funnier is that, the first time I drove it, my father actually let me drive.

I actually was just kidding with him.

The story is this;

My mother wants to buy a new car. Several times I asked for it, but she had/has every good reason to say 'no'. First of all, the car's almost 10 years old. Secondly, who would pay for the road tax? Car insurance? I'm still studying and I'm far from getting a job.

Last Sunday, after picking me up from the hostel, my parents went into this... car showroom place. You know, with the salesmen and all. And being myself, I laid around the couch with my baby brother and listened to the music in my phone. Reason being, I hate listening to all the haggling and empty promises. It's best that I don't ruin my perfectly good mood that day.
And, I suppose my parents decided to not buy the Mazda3 car there.
Lemme get the picture for you...

Ain't she cute? Cool, too. The steering wheel is just.. dashing. There's just no other word for it.

And so, from wanting to buy the beau, my mother would have to sell her current car. Because no matter how my sister would need one for her next semester for university, we don't really need three cars. Two is more than enough.

And since, my mother wants to sell off her car, she'd need one to go to work/school. So the person (according to my father's telling last night, the guy's a pilot. Woo.) gave us the Kancil, or maybe the guy (third party/my father's friend) provided us, until the Pilot guy can pay my mother her money. I don't know the exact number, but from what I heard from the salesperson last Sunday, around RM11K.

So... there's this, neither of my parents dare to drive the Kancil. Since it's manual. According to my mother, small cars are usually manual, with the gears and all, or else if it's automatic, it might become too much of a heavy load. Thus related to problems going uphill and stuff. Just like when you go uphill with a small car, and you turn on the air conditioning too high. Either you're stuck up there, or you don't even stand a stand to climb the said hill. Lol. Have fun trying that out.

My parents don't dare drive the car, but when it comes to me driving it, my father likes to criticize or just won't shut up. Sorry, that sounds rude, but that's exactly how it is. I'd like to see him drive the Kancil without the car dying halfway.


Now let's go to another story!

I'm actually just back from driving and sending my baby brother, Danneh. I think I was too nervous while driving, but I had fun, since I went around to driving in front of my last high school. Ah, the memories I had there. The place where I met Eka, and all of my wonderful classmates and schoolmates. Arina and all of them.. Damn, I miss them. Oh well.

It took me almost an hour trying to wake Danneh up. I don't mean to spoil him by being too nice to him -- I'm just not always nice to him. Besides, I've been busy with studying, and we haven't gotten ready together for a long while.

Then I fixed up his breakfast (though he's 'fasting'. He fasts like... half-day max) and we set off. I was a bit hesitant, but it got better along the way while I was driving. I'm starting to get comfortable, honestly. My father even offered to give me the car keys to let me drive, but it was late last night and I wanted a good night's sleep -- something I don't always get to have. Though his reason was great; that he said I needed to get used to driving. Don't know why. It's not like I'd be able to drive after the car's returned and mother getting her new car. Unless he has other plans that I don't want to think of right now.

And yeah, now I'm back home and blogging, obviously.

Lmao, 'Like a G6' by The Far East Movement is playing right now. It reminds me of this video of the two girls in my hostel dancing to it. LOL. 'From too much studying'. Oh yeah. Too much studying makes me go crazy, too. That's why I need some time off after every hour to stimulate my mind, by playing games on my phone or just a walk around in my room.


Yesterday I got this offer from UiTM, and it made me have second thoughts. In the end, after much talking from my parents and my wife and some friends, I decided that by going would be the best for me. Besides, the only thing I was afraid of, was that I might not find enjoyment in Statistics as I enjoyed TESL. I mean, probably because I am relatively good in English in general. But since I always underestimate myself (proven that, even when I've studied like forever for the tests and exams I've had, I always seem to get the highest/one of the highest marks and I'd find the questions too easy and I even laughed a little at them) I gathered up the confidence, that yes, I can do Statistics. I love maths, so what the hell? Who cares if it's considered a boring course to most people I know? My parents said it'd be easy to get a job -- bank, anything to do with money and along the line. I only hope that this is the best for me, and that Allah is satisfied with the many prayers I've given Him. Sometimes Allah is the only one you have. True, for me, at least.

Hmm.. 'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato is now playing. This song always gives me inspiration and hope.

Though I'm sad to end, I think the few reading this would have enough of my rantings.

I end my post here.

Yours truly,

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

New day.

New beginning. New... whatever, new.

I feel weird every time I start to write on my blog. Probably been missing it out for too long, that I actually feel guilty coming back to it, and having it welcome me with opened arms. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Oh well. Maybe it's just my morning mood, plus the fact that my morning class has been canceled. All that 'I need to get up early on Wednesday' gone to waste.

By the way,
my blog is the only place left that I have to remind me of him. Yes, him.
Ahh.. I don't know what I'm supposed to rabble on in this post... I just feel so tired lately. More exhausted than tired. I think my emotions glass bottled is half-way through falling down the cabinet. Too much emotions pouring out and being used.

I suppose I can't complain. It's the only way I know I'm still alive.

Similar to my scars.

The three scars on my right hand; one just on my wrist, were all made by the ones I loved. My best friend, my Zel and my Mimie. (The two later ones are my favourite cats, the ones I taught tricks to -- also the ones that were the most clingy among my other cats) Scars that are most visible, anyway. Meaning the ones that never ceases to go away. Just... there. Telling me to remember. The cries to help me go through the toughest days, the loneliest nights, the most broken down state I'll ever be in...

Like a small part of my wife. Yes, small.
Nothing can ever compare to her. She's just... totally in a different category. I can't even begin to comprehend how she makes me feel in words. She's just.. Maya. Not in a such a way. I mean, she's different. She makes me feel real. Alive. ... No, more than alive.
Chosen few people can make me feel like a person, but she makes me feel alive.

I cry for her, I laugh for her, I breathe for her. Only Allah can begin to comprehend my feelings. Because clearly, I can't.

I can't tell her how much I love her. How much I need her. How much I want to held by her. How much -I- want to -be- there for her. It's a foreign feeling. And if it wasn't for her, it's been so long since I've felt so loved and needed by anyone. Anyone.

Ugh, see? Every time she crosses my mind, I start doing this; talking and talking.

That either means I'm too sleepy, or I've been thinking too much..

I feel weird today, have I said that? I feel extraordinarily weird today... Hm.

I stumbled upon this LDR (Long Distance Relationship) blog just a while ago. Which made me think of my blog. Which made me do this post. Lol. I guess you should blame it. Blame it for my babbling. Or you can put the blame on me. :P

Ahh.. now the headache shall settle in. That means I should REALLY stop and take a break.

Oh well.

I suppose I could go and watch some Detective Conan or something (if only it'd load!)

Till next... rabble, good day.