Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Ignore the subs. Listen.

Bah. Cliche..

This video is like Nickelback's Someday..

Monday, November 24, 2008


Indon in English. ._. ;~; B.E.A.U tiful~


Today is what.. the 24th? OH yes, the 24th.
A Monday.
So here's the story..

Well, I woke up earlier than usual (around Subuh/Sunrise I suppose).
Shower, breakfast, blablabla.. the usual daily stuff. Boring.

AND.. I went to buy Credit. Then went back home and went outside AGAIN. I went back and forth to this house until I came across something.

A LITTLE SOMETHING. Which turned out to be a kitten. But.. DEAD. So you could supposedly imagine my shocked/dontknowwhattodo expression. .-.

At first I had wanted to take it (hence bury it) but it stinks. Not to comment or anything but I was scared. Trauma. So I went back home and talked to Rival (Krisse/Sandra/annoyinggirl). She told me to get it and bury it. And so I did. Took my Naruto-like glove and ran to the kitten.

As I was walking, I noticed that this 'guy' had been watching me. ._. Plus I had been in his sight for a while but I TRIED to ignore that fact.

But the hardest part is yet to come: Digging. I found no shovel I could've interpreted as a shovel so I just took this kinda thing i came across after tripping over a cat. (I took the kitten to a safe place before this happened so no worries. ^^)

I digged and digged..

And digged...

Until I came to the knowledge that it was big enough for the kitten. I carried it carefully (its body was weak and I think its 'arm' was broken. ;~;)

Then the deeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp trauma came along so I went for a 2 hour run. IT was.. exhausting and silly because I keep gettting mixed up and lost in the damned neighbourhood. x__x Shows that I dont go around the neighbourhood much, huh?

And just when..- Heh.
I'm sleepy.
Tell me that it's not 10 yet..

Sunday, November 16, 2008


Ever since .. ever, I am in no mood to blog. .__. My chest hurts, my eyes are irritating and my head is spinning. YAY.

What to do.. what to do..
All alone in the house.. ~_~ HELP!!

Someone. Please. Or I'm going to commit .. whatever I am allowed to. @__@

*rubs her eyes* Sleepy but I dont wanna get off the laptop. Not yet. Not until I talk to Irene-san. n___n

Hmmm... I better stop here.
I hope everyone's feeling better than I am.
*sees a spider next to the laptop* o_O;;


Thursday, November 13, 2008

For all you HSM haters, I hate you too ^_^

Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine
And let the music be your guide.

Won't you promise me
(now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing)
wherever we go next

It's like catching lightning
the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance? (can I have this dance?)
Can I have this dance?

Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you threw it all
And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is (cause my heart is)
wherever you are

It's like catching lightning
the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance? (can I have this dance?)
Can I have this dance?

Oh no mountains too high enough, oceans too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

It's like catching lightning
the chances of finding someone like you (like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance? (can I have this dance?)
Can I have this dance?Can I have this dance?
Can I have this dance?

Hmmm... lovely song~
I dont care what you think, I'm anything you want me to be.
I'm anything she's not but.. I don't even care.
I just want to be with you..
Right here, right now.

Until the day I die..~ The story of the year

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die too
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you

We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die too
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you

We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Do you need this as bad as I do? (Until the day I die)
And do you need this as bad as I do? (Until the day I die)
Yeah do you need this as bad as I do? (Until the day I die)
Yeah do you need this as bad as I do, as I do? (Until the day I die)

I know. But this song.. reminds me of him.


I just want to say.. I AM really upset about having to leave next year. Not happy with the upcoming holidays either.. Staying home.. And Dad's visiting Alya on 5th December, or so he told me.
I wonder if he knows..-

And for all unknown reasons, I get upset a lot lately. Maybe the stress.. what, though? Depression.. is a funny word. Irony.. lurks around a lot, doesnt it?

And... my chest hurts. Preferably a lot, often, too. Dont know what should.. MAY trigger it.
I still need to decide.. Keep or not? Airi-san had told me to decide what seemed more rational to me. After ALL, he didnt HURT me. Well, she's right. HE didnt. Not even once.

Perhaps.. I should just stop thinking. For a moment and relax.. Easier said than done. Shiteness.

Hmmm, I suddenly am in need of a HUMAN company.. Tough.

Well, I need to..-

Hold on, I have finished New Moon faster than you had expected. Bella.. Or shall I say Isabella Marie Swan... is a lot like the old me. Only FAR more extreme. And I DO NOT go trying to kill myself.. well, technically. I DID have thoughts, I admit it. You win, Ira.

And... GUESS WHAT. I have a bag full of goodies from today's presents. YAY.

Monday, November 3, 2008

RE: Hey...

YAY. Finally, I am able to get on. ._. I missed CHUUU! Even Sunshine sometimes, we hugged all night long. Or at least I tried to. T-T He's like no more than my palm, so small for a Teddy. .-.;

Yup, hah. How ironic, aint it? You come and go.. too much. Why cant you ever STAY for a change.. I HATE IT!! T__T

But Whatever. .___. So tired of hating and arguing.. Just live life like a rolling pin. ^_^;
Though.. I wonder how. o-O; xD I miss Mr. Hughes. BADLY. -_- I need someone to pick on me... Oh yeah, it reminds me of what happened yesterday.

This girl whom I met.. like only several time asked me if I was with Faizzudin. o-o YESH, the guy who has that kawaii smile. o//o

xD Yeah I know, that was severally odd.

Well, me have to go. ._. I'll be sure to keep my phone charged so.. call! .-. But you should know that I just might not pick if my mood is bad. Like right NOW. Buh-byes~

Sunday, November 2, 2008


Bah, Yo. Seems you are keeping my.. commandment under control, eh? Good girl. ^-^; Well, me ish a bit buseh nowadays. Exams.. ect. Or is it etc?? xD Nvm darling.

Just wondering.. where have you been?! I cant reach ya, nor do you take my calls. -__- EBIL!

Haha, very funneh. Playing around with Marky? What did you tell him! Wait, nvm that. xP

Hmm.. g2g. See ya.. some time?

Yours lovingly.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


I dont feel like putting in the lyrics, so check it out yourself, if you really care.


Woot! Amira, Amira~ I'm out of that hell!
*huggles a thousand times* x3 I miss you so much Am, when are you visiting me..?
I heard about your Saturday. *claps* Congrats, you've find peace. Even if for a while, I'm proud of you. You're like the insane, emo-wannabe sister I never had. No offense. ^-^;;;;;;

I hope you've been fine, and no one has been hurting your feelings. If they have, they shall suffer forever. =0 ..I'm so glad you've put my name in this wicked thing.
...Dont worry about her, I know she still trusts you. You've gone through a lot, with shuk and all..
I wish I could push it all away for ya, but like they always say, You gotta put up with the rain if you want to see the rainbow. The rainbow is there, look up ahead.

Someday.. all your sufferings would end.. I'll pray for you.

Oh yeah, you said you want to apply for boarding school. That's.. lovely, but.. will you be able to take care of yourself?.. I'm worried you know. Dont even ask what I've been through in my coma.

Well until then, farewell Amira. Have lotsa fun this Eid, I really hope you do.
Bye! Au Revoir!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Crush - David Archuleta

I hang up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Has it ever cross you mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush
aint goin away, goin away

Hmmm..~ Lovely and beautiful song Ira, cant wait till you get out of the hospital..

I'm singing in the rain...~

Our bodies
- Each square inch of human skin consists of 19 million cells, sixty hairs, ninety oil glands, nineteen feel of blood vessels, 625 sweat glands, and 19,000 sensory cells.
- The pupils of your eyes can give clues to your emotions if the other person can se them. If you are trying to bargain for something you want very much, wear dark glasses, for your pupils may dilate when you show interest and you may end up paying a higher price for the merchandise. [I’d love to try this sometime.]
- Human reproduction follows lunar time rather than sidereal, or solar, time: Gestation is about 266 days – nine lunar months – and the menstrual period is one lunar month.
- Man has tiny bones once meant for a tail and unworkable muscles once meant to move his ears. [Doggy! xD]
- To keep your feet warm, put on a hat. Eighty percent of all body heat escapes through the head.
- The scientist Paul Weiss has estimated that each of us had in his brain about as many cells as there have been seconds in time since our part of the cosmos began to assume its present form – about 1 quadrillion (1,000,000,000,000,000). Further, he estimates that each cell has about 10,000 macromolecules and receives about 10,000 connections from other brain cells as the macromolecules of each develop linkages. Dr. Weiss computes that the brain loses 1,000 brain cells per day, irretrievably, seemingly at random, which mean a loss of 100 billion cross-linkages daily. Yet, amazingly, basic patterns and memories are maintained. [No wonder the second I try to think about what I dreamt, I forget all about it except for the most horror parts. ~___~]
- The brain is surrounded by a membrane containing veins and arteries. This membrane is filled with nerves of feeling. However, the brain itself has no feelings; if it cut into, the person feels no pain. (Just… wow.)
- The heart beats faster during a brisk walk or heated argument than during sexual intercourse. [*coughs hysterically* No comment on that. .-.;;;;;]
- We think we cannot see at night, But given enough time to adjust, the human eye can, for a time, see almost as well as an owl’s. Ultimately, as the amount of light decreases, an owl detects shapes after a human no longer can.

Pampered Pets
- Napoleon suffered from ailurophobia, the fear of cats. [I think my friend Fatin, do also. .-. Our last extra Maths class in the … form 5 (?), there was this kawaii cat. =3 For me at least, but Fatin, along with Helmiati, were scared of it. I took it out, upon their request but the cat kept coming back. xD After a while, the cat decided to leave the class.]
- A cat fell from the twentieth floor of a building in Montreal, in 1973, and suffered only from a pelvic fracture.

Salty Facts
- There is a salt mine in the Polish town of Wieliczka, near Cracow, that has been in operation for nearly 1,000 years. [I’ve been in this salt mine; my mother twice. It’s just… amazing. No other words can describe the feeling when you are exactly down in the mine.]

Sharps and Flats
- There were at least fifty two musicians in the family of Johann Sebastian Bach. [I love his music.]
- Bach’s Six Concertos for Orchestra – the Brandenburg Concertos – were written for the margrave of Brandenburg, a prince who loved music, concertos in particular. When the margrave died, the Brandenburg Concertos were said to be worth twenty four groschen. Eight groschen were worth $1.50 in those days (1721), so the value for six of the most distinguished pieces in all of music was only $4.50.
- Johann Sebastian Bach must have liked to walk. He walked the 230 miles from Arnstadlt to Lubeck, Germany, in order to hear the organist Buxtehude. On another occasion, he walked 25 miles to Halle in the hope of meeting Handel, arriving just after Handel had left the town by coach.

Solar System
- Want to reach the outermost planet of the solar system in twenty five years instead of the forty seven years that a direct flight would take? If yes, be sure to be launched first toward Jupiter. Passing through the giant’s planet gravitational field, your spaceship would receive an added boost on its way to that most distant planet, Pluto.

- Between 1882 and 1887, Hugh L. Daly played second base and shortstop and pitched for several major league baseball teams. As a pitcher, he won seventy four games, including a no hitter, and he registered a long standing record of striking out nineteen batters in a game. Not bad for a man with only one arm.

Strange Rules, Laws, and Customs
- It was proposed in the Rhode Island legislature in the 1970s that there be enacted a $2 tax on ever act of sexual intercourse. [o-o I wonder how much… .-.;;;;]

That’s Entertainment
- Everyone has heard of Hollywood’s voice dubbing. In the movie musical Singin’ in the Rain, the lesser art of foot-dubbing was applied: After Gene Kelly completed his famous tap dance in the rain, the director still needed the sound of sloshy tapping feet. Instead of having Mr. Kelly dance again for the sound track, two young ladies put on their tap shoes and, tapping in bucketsful of water, produced the required sounds to match the tapping seen on the screen. One of these tappers was the late Carol Haney, assistant to Mr. Kelly, and the other was Gwen Verdon, choreographer Jack Cole’s assistant. Both of these foot-dubbers later became Broadway dancing stars.

What’s in a Name
- The most common name in the world is neither Ching nor John. It’s Muhammad. [I think someone told me this, I just can’t remember who and when…]
- Some of the names by which Bangkok is known are Great City of Angels, the Supreme Warehouse of Divine Jewels, the Great Land Unconquerable, the Grand and Prominent World, the Royal and Delightful City Full of Ninefold Gems, the Highest Royal Dwelling and Grand Palace, the Divine Shelter and Living Place of the Reincarnated One…

- One of the greatest orators of all time – Demosthenes (384?-322 B.C.) – was once a stutterer who stubbornly trained himself out of it, reportedly by putting pebbles in his mouth and practicing speaking aloud.
- The Polish actress Helena Modjeska (1844 - 1909) was popular with audiences for her realistic and emotional style of acting. She once gave a dramatic reading in her native tongue at a dinner party of people who didn’t know Polish [Oh boy…], and her listeners were in tears when she finished. It turned out she had merely recited the Polish alphabets. [I never got around to ACTUALLY learning the whole alphabets, neither Miss Monika nor that crazed Polish teacher taught any of her students the alphabets in Polish. .-.; But that must have been so dramatic to have her audience in tears. xD]
- Among the thousands of languages spoken around the world, about 175 languages are spoken natively by at least a million people. The ten largest languages each have over 100 million native speakers. They are, in descending order, Chinese, English, Russian, Spanish, Hindi, Bengali, Arabic, Portugese, German and Japanese.
- A forty five letter word connoting a lung disease, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis, is the longest word in Webster’s Third New International Dictionary. The longest word in the Oxford English Dictionary means the act of estimating as worthless – floccinaucinihilipilification.
- One legal term for having sexual intercourse with someone else’s spouse – i.e., adultery – is “criminal conversation.”
- Louis Pasteur, whose work on wine, vinegar, and beer led to pasteurization, had an obsessive fear of dirt and infection. He refused to shake hands, and he carefully wiped plate and glass before dining. (I remember him... art class or something.)
- Albeit Einstein’s last words will never be known. He spoke them in German, and the attending nurse did not understand German. (Oh phooey!)

Literary Life
- After spending fruitless years looking for a story that would match his “strong sense of man’s double being,” Robert Louis Stevenson dreamt the plot of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

- David – (his last name has never been publicly revealed) has lived all his life in a sterile environment, He suffers the rare disease known as severe combined immune deficiency, and his body is unable to fight off even the most common germs. (By living in a germfree life-support system, which is enclosed in a see-through plastic bubble, he has never experienced a sick day, except for his disease, for which doctors say there is still no treatment.) On his seventh birthday, in 1978, he wasn’t able to blow out the candles on his cake – they weren’t allowed in the bubble, so he was only able to see them. About a hundred people are born with this blood disorder, and David is the oldest of five survivors. David lives with his family in Houston, and walks out of doors wearing an astronaut’s suit with a plastic-bubble helmet.
- Electrical stimulation of certain areas of the brain can revive long-lost memories.
- A study of the common cold, made b two epidemiologists at the University of Michigan, disclosed that the incidence of colds was greater among the better-educated. (Even if this is true, I only get fevers. Just my high temperature got me into medication – for weeks now. I haven’t recovered ever since I took two bottles of medicine once. )

- The pilgrims did not build log cabins, nor did they wear black hats with a conical crown and a hatband with a silver buckle. (xP I remember this assembly about thanksgiving by Year… 4 if I’m not mistaken. Radzi – if I can recall correctly, was in it.)

Numbers and Statistics
- In their encyclopedia, Elements and Mathematics, a group of French mathematician working under the collective pseudonym of Nichols Bourbaki spent 200 pages just introducing matters relating to the number 1.
- The number of possible ways of playing just the first four moves on each side in a game of chess is 318, 979, 564,000. (Fuck, that’s a lot! O-o Besides, immature as I am in chess, I was one step away from beating Mr. Hughes, the chess teacher/ my Humanity teacher, head of the Humanity department. He wrote in my end of 2007 year report that I am the darling of the humanities department. xD)
- A prime number is any number that can be divided only by itself and 1. There are an infinite number of primes. Any one of those primes (except for 2 and 3) will become evenly divisible by 6 if you either subtract 1 from it or add 1 to it. For example, the number 17, if 1 is added to it, it is evenly divisible by 6; or the number 19, if 1 is subtracted from it, it is evenly divisible by 6. (I made myself a list of all the prime numbers from 1 to 100. The primes are yellow/orange in colour while the others are dark pink. 26, however, is blue. I thought it’d be nice if the number was different from other. One in a million…~)
- Take fifteen copies of Isaac Asimov’s Book of Facts and number them “1” to “15.” If you tried to line them up in all possible arrangements, and if you made a change a minute, it would take you 2,487,996 years to do it.
- Before the computer was used in determining prime numbers, the largest known prime was 2 to the power of 127 – 1. To test suck a number on a standard calculator requires many months, and similar amounts of time are needed to check the result. In 1971, the American Mathematical Society received the highest known prime number, 2 to the power of 19937 – 1, a number of 6,002 digits. It was calculated on an IBM computer in 39 minutes, 26.4 seconds. (297th page, I’m so exhausted!!)
- There are fifty-two cards in an ordinary deck. The number of ways in which they can be arranged is just about 80,660,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000! If you had that many decks of cards, each arranged a different way, and if each deck weighed only as much as a single hydrogen atom(the lightest atom), all the decks together would weigh a billion times as much as the sun.
- In 1872, the English Mathematician William Shanks calculated the value of the mathematical expression pi to 707 places. It took him fifteen years to do so. In 1949, the first electronic computers calculated it to 2,035 places in three days – and found that Shanks had made a mistake in the last hundred or so figures in his calculation were wrong. (Damn!)
- The number 2520 can be divided by 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and 10 (as well as 12, 14, 15, 18, 20, 21, 24…)without having a fractional leftover.
- The number 37, which cannot be wholly divided by any number (except by 1 and itself [which means it’s a prime?]), has the property that it will wholly divide the following numbers: 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, 666, 777, 888, 999. [111 divide by 37 is 3; 222 divide by 37 is 6…]
- The number 10 is used as a convenient base to count with, but the Gauls of ancient France, the Mays of Central America and other peoples used 20 as a base. The Sumerians, the Babylonians, and others after used a base of 60 – convenient because 60 can be evenly divided by 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 15, 20 and 30. This 60 survives in the divisions of hours into minutes and minutes into seconds, and in the division of the circle into 360 degrees.
- One of the most famous unsolved problems in mathematics is “Fermat’s last theorem,” named for the French mathematician Pierre Fermat (1106-65). He wrote that he had found that a certain equation, x to the power of n + y to the power of n = z to the power of n, had no solution in whole numbers, except where n = 2. Thus, 3 squared + 4 squared = 5 squared [One of the famous Pythagoras theorem question in our PMR examination, one of the important exams that I am going to take this October 13 – 17.] Fermat went on to say that he didn’t have the space in his notation for the simple proof. Mathematicians have been searching for the proof for three-centuries, in vain. Modern computers have shown that the equation has no solutions for all values of n up to 2,000, but this is not the general proof we are still looking for.
- 1234567654321 is the product of 11,111,111 multiplied by itself.
- During the next minute, 100 people will die and 240 will be born. The world’s population problem increases by 140 people per minute.
- In 1978, the Center for Population Research estimated that a million teenage girls in the U.S., or one in ten between the age of fifteen and nineteen, become pregnant each year. About 600,000 actually bear children.

Of Wives and Mistresses
- Peter the Great had his wife’s lover executed and his head put into a jar of alcohol. She had to keep it in her bedroom.
- When the Elector of Hanover became George I of England in 1714, his wife did not become Queen because she had committed adultery. He placed her under house arrest in Ahlden Castle, where she stayed of thirty-two years. Those who knew of her fate called her the “Prisoner of Ahlden,” and so she remains in history. Ironically, George had arrived in England with his two mistresses. Adultery was a crime only for wives. (So sexist man…)
- The Babylonians auctioned off marriageable girls every year. Men had to bid high for the most attractive girls, and their money provided dowries so that the ugly girls, for whom no one would bid, could find husbands. Herodotus considered this the wisest of Babylonian customs.
- “An utter stranger takes the liberty of addressing you,” began a note from Shelley’s sister in law, Claire Godwin, to George Bron, whom she had not met. “It may seem a strange assertion, but it is no less true that I place my happiness in your hands… I know that you have the reputation of being mad, bad and dangerous, but nevertheless you hold my destiny…” Byron yielded to the request for assignation. He met Miss Godwin, despised her, loved her – and shucked her.
- Though popularly thought to have been an Egyptian, a Macedonian, and the daughter of Ptolemy XI. She married two of her brothers and was the mistress of Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. [Which bring back memories of this play… by Shakespeare if I can recall correctly, about Mark Antony and Cleopatra]
- The forth Mogul Emperor, Jahagir, who ruled from 1605 to 1627, had a harem of 300 royal wives, 5,000 more women, and 1,000 young men for alternate pleasures. [*coughs maniacally* o-o;;;] Outside the palace, he stabled other kinds of pets: 12,000 elephants, 10,000 oxen, 2,000 camels, 3,000 deer, 4,000 dogs, 100 tame lions, 500 buffalo, and 10,000 carrier pigeons. [NOW this is not a mini zoo, but a HUGE one. ._.;;]
- After his love affair of two years with Catherine with Great, Gregory Aleksandrovich Potemkin continued to be an important adviser to Catherine. He even helped to choose her subsequent lovers.
- The Thracians were a warrior of people who lived in what is today Bulgaria, from about 1300 to 500 B.C., when they were reduced to vassals by the Persians. They practiced polygamy. When a man died, his wives argued among themselves as to which one had been his favourite. The wife who finally decided upon as the favourite won the privilege of being killed and placed next to her husband in his tomb. [Just like I’d say, “Sehidup, semati” which if translated into English, meaning “Live together, die together.” xD But really, I’d RATHER not be the favourite one. .___.;]
- In ancient Greece, women counted their age from the date on which they were married, not from the day they were born, signifying that the wedding marked the start of a woman’s life. [Then I am unborn. xP But then again, what would divorce do? O-o Be the end of their life?]

On Books
- Clement Clarke Moore (1779- 1863) – a biblical scholar, professor of Oriental and Greek Literature, and compiler of a Greek and Hebrew lexicon – wrote the exquisitely simple and easily remembered “Visit from St. Nicholas”: “T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house…” [Ooh! I remember one of the journals I had to do like a few days before Christmas. Mr. Glenn wrote this as a starter and we had to continue it and make a story. =3 I love morning journals!]
- Pi, the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter, was computer-calculated to a million decimal places in 1973 by the French Mathematician and Martine Bouyer. The value was published as a 400- page book – very important, and yet surely one of the most boring books in the world. [Anyone would be crazy enough to read a 400-page book full of numbers. ~_~ I can read a 400-page book on even science fiction but NOT numbers.]

The Orient
- The astrologers in China, during Marco Polo’s visit (1271-95), would tell relatives how the dead person must be taken from the house to ward off bad luck. It wasn’t always through the door. The family sometimes would have to break through a wall.
- Because the Japanese word for “four” sounds exactly like the word “death” and because the word “nine” sounds exactly like the word “suffering,” there are no rooms numbered 4 or 9 in many hospitals and hotels in Japan. [What fun.]


- In 1852, police estimated that 10,000 abandoned, orphaned, and runaway children were roaming the streets of New York City.
- Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tales were greeted by bad reviews: “… quite unsuitable for children… positively harmful for the mind…” (I AGREE!! =0)
- So that their children might acquire proper manners and learn proper French, French trappers and rivermen exploring North America set up a “little Paris” in St. Genevieve, Missousi, in the 1760s. At the school for social manners, it was hoped the children seeking good breeding would acquire at least “the two elements of true politeness – grace and self-denial.”

Cold facts
- A catastrophic temperature drop is not needed to get an ice age under way. The drop need only be enough to allow a little more snow to fall during a slightly colder winter then can be melted by a succeeding, cooler summer.
- An iceberg contains more heat than a match. The total heat energy of the iceberg (i.e., the total kinetic energy of all its molecules) is greater than the heat energy of the match. It’s the temperature of the match that is greater.
- It is not surprising that nice-tenths of an iceberg is under water. The surprising thing is that one-tenth of the iceberg is above water. Ice floats because water expands when it freezes – and there are very few other substances that expand when they freeze. Contraction on freezing is almost universal.
- Water freezes faster if it is cooled rapidly from a relatively war, temperature than if it is cooled at the same rate from a lower temperature

- The Leyland liner Californian, bound in April 1912 from London to Boston, with room for forty seven passengers but carrying none at the time, was close enough to receive wireless messages from the foundering Titanic and to help in a rescue. But the Californian’s radio operator was not on duty. He had had no relief, and had to sleep sometime.
- It took five months to get word back to Queen Isabella about the voyage of Columbus, two weeks for Europe to hear about Lincoln’s assassination, and only 1.3 seconds to get the word from Neil Armstrong that man can walk on the moon.
- During the “blackout” of July 13-14, 1977, when electric power to New York City failed during the early evening and was not restored until the next afternoon, a record eighty million telephone calls were made. On an average business day, thirty six million calls are made in the city. (Amazing…)

Creepy Crawly
- The president of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Centre in New York, which specializes in cancer treatment, has observed that “ants are so much like being human beings as to be an embarrassment.” Writes Dr. Lewis Thomas: Ants “farm fungi, raise aphids as livestock, launch armies into wars, use chemicals sprays to alarm and confuse enemies, capture slaves. The families of weaver ants engage in child labor, holding their larvae like shuttles to spin out the thread that sews the leaves together for their fungus gardens. They exchange information ceaselessly. The do everything but watch television.”

De Gustibus
- When we sit down to dinner each evening, our menu includes a great deal more water than the glassful we consume as a beverage. Many foods contain a surprising percentage of water by weight, e.g., cucumber, 96%; watermelon, 92%; apple, 84%; potato, 78%; steak, 74%; cheese, 40%; bread, 35%.
- When tea was first introduced in the American colonies, many housewives, in their ignorance, served the tea leaves with sugar or syrup after throwing away the water in which they had been boiled.
- Nearly 28,000 different ways to lose weight have been tried, according to U.S. data. The oldest is fasting, “the ultimate diet.”

- There’s enough energy in ten minutes of one hurricane to match the nuclear stockpiles of the world.
- A single lightning bolt may give off 3,750 million kilowatts of electrical energy. About 75% of this energy is dissipated as heat, raising the temperature of the surrounding air to around 27,000 degrees Fahrenheit, and causing rapid air expansion which leads to sound waves – thunder – that can be heard up to eighteen miles away.
- A lighting bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than the 6000 degrees Celsius found at the surface of the Sun.

- Caption James Cook’s public orders in 1768 were to observe from Tahiti the transit of Venus. Once he reached Tahiti, though, he opened sealed instructions, which told him: “Whereas there is reason to imagine that a Continent or Land of great extent, may be found to… the Southward of the Track of any former Navigators… you are to proceed to the southward in order to make discovery of the Continent above mentioned.” He found it: Australia

Fine Feathered Friends
- A little more than a century ago, there was an account of a flock of passenger pigeons in a column 500 yards wide that took three hours to pass over the observer: about a billion birds in all. Today, the passenger bird is extinct.

Finny Facts
- The oyster is usually bisexual. It begins life as a male, then becomes a female, then changes back to being a male, then back to being a female; it may go back and forth many times.

- Tyrannosaurus rex was the largest carnivorous reptile of the dinosaur period. But it was not the largest of all dinosaurs; this distinction belonged to the herbivorous sauropods, of which the largest, Brachiosaurus, weighed as much as fifty tons. (My favourite dinosaur is infact, the Brachio.)
- Dinosaurs were mostly vegetarians, despite their enormous size and decidedly carnivorous appearance. One exception was the mammoth Tyrannosaurus rex, which apparently ate other dinosaurs. The food making up a single bite for a tyrannosaur, it was speculated, would feed a human family of four for an entire month.

Randomness ~

About queens
- A female pharaoh was unknown in Egypt before Hatshepsut, who began her reign in 1502 B.C. In order not to shock convention, she had herself portrayed in male costume, with a beard, and without breasts.
- When Elizabeth I of Russia died in 1762, 15,000 dresses were found in her closets. She used to change what she was wearing two and even three times in an evening.
- English was not the mother tongue of Queen Victoria. Her mother, the daughter of a German duke spoke German in the home, and Victoria - though she ruled England for sixty-four years – was never able to speak English fluently.

Ancient Peoples
- February originally had twenty nine days every year. In 8 B.C., the Roman Emperor Augustus renamed the thirty day month of Sextillis, giving it the name of August to honour himself. He took a day from February so that his month would have as many days as July, which had been named for Julius Caesar.
- The greatest soldier of ancient times, Alexander (356-323 B.C) was tutored by the greatest thinker, Aristotle.
- The best known story about Archimedes is that when he discovered the principle of buoyancy in the bathtub, he ran naked through the streets of Syracuse, shouting “Eureka! Eureka!” (“I have it! I have it!”) This was not a very astonishing thing for him to have done. The Greeks habitually exercised in the nude, and the sight of a naked male figure meant little to them.
- One of the Seven Wonders of the World, the elaborate Temple of Artemis in Ephesus, was destroyed in October 356 B.C. – A case of deliberate arson. When the culprit was caught and asked why he had done the deed, he replied he did it so that his name might live in history. The man was executed, and it was ordered that his name be erased from all records and never be spoken. But he did succeed after all; we know his name: Herodotus.

Animal World
- The vampire bat is not as vicious as its image. It does not puncture the skin of its victim’s neck, but instead, scrapes exposed patches of skin with its teeth until it draws blood. So gentle is the scraping that the sleeping prey does not wake up while the bat is at work.
- “The wolf at the door” was once a sad reality. Wolf packs could be found in all forest of Europe, and in 1420 and 1438 wolves roamed the streets of Paris. O-o
- It is the female lion who does more than 90 percent of the hunting while the male is afraid to risk his life, or simply prefers to rest.
- Despite man’s fear and hatred of the wolf, it has not been proved that a nonrabid wolf ever attacked a human, Fir years there has been a reward offered by the Sault Ste. Maris, Ontario, Star to anyone who could document an attack by a wolf. The reward has never been claimed.
- The ancestors of a horse were only about a foot tall 60 million years ago. o___o

- A nearly fatal misjudgment marked Pablo Picasso’s birth. The midwife, thinking him stillborn, had abandoned him on a table; but his uncle, a cigar-smoking physician revived him with a blast of needed (albeit smoke-filled) air into his lungs.
- Artists consider the basic colours to be red, yellow and blue, but scientists say they are red, green, and blue. No pigment combination of red, green and blue will produce yellow. Yet, if a beam of red light and green light overlap, the result is yellow. The answer to this riddle lies primarily in the totally different ways colours are achieved with light and with pigments.
- In the grassy fields above the cliffs at Etretat, Claude Monet would work on five or six paintings at a time. As the weather changed, he would switch from one canvas to another. (I remember Miss Kasia’s art class, we were observing his drawings.)
- As though he didn’t have everything else going for him, Leonardo da Vinci was described by people who knew him as “the most beautiful man who ever lived.”
- Vincent van Gogh was known to have sold only one painting.
- Picasso, when he died in 1973, left in four repositories in the south of France the following: 1,876 paintings, 1,355 sculptured, 2,880 ceramics, more than 11,000 drawings and sketches, and some estate was worth – at the official appraisal – 1,251,673,200 French francs, or approximately $250 million. (WOW!)
- Students were given a month to complete the competitive art examination at the estimable Barcelona Academy of Fine Arts. Picasso, at the age of fifteen, completed the all the examination in one day and furthermore, won first place over all adult competition.
- In his early days, Picasso kept warm by burning some of his drawings.

Better to give
- Ernest Hemingway gave to the Shrine of the Virgin in eastern Cuba, where he lived, Nobel Prize money he had won for the novel The Old Man and the Sea. “You don’t,” he said, “ever have a thing until you give it away.”

- So far in the twentieth century, two objects have struck the earth with enough force to destroy a whole city. Each object, one in 1908 and one in 1947, struck isolated regions of Siberia. Not one human being was hurt at the time. Pure luck.
- The first hydrogen bomb, tested in 1952, was as powerful as the total of all bombs dropped on Germany and Japan during World War II, including the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
- The sinking in 1912 of the Titanic with a loss of 1,513 lives is not, as most people seem to believe, the greatest sea disaster of all time. Far from it! It was dwarfed by the sinking thirty three years later of the German vessel Wilhelm Gustloff, torpedoed in the Baltic Sea by the Russian submarine S-13. Close to 8,000 people drowned, most of them women and children – more than five times the number of victims that went down with the Titanic.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

Hmm, this song is just beautiful Ira.. wake up soon, I'd give up everything..

Facts and Trivia, this is awesome I tell ya

Upon the request of my ..beloved cousin, I will report all my doings for today, 3rd September/ Ramadhan. ^-^v

Well first off, morning started off.. just okay. No wait.. heh, just leave it there. .-.;
I onl got 50 bucks, not even enough to pay for my tuition fees =0 but what the heck, I'll get some more tomorrow morn. Hopefully. ~__~ Hmm.. and yeah, Akmar will pay back the 40 buck she took from me. ._____.; THAT also, in hope.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. On Thursday, Mrs (? xD) Sharifah (or Syarifah or watever .-.;) wanted to see me. She, respectively, the teacher on duty and the editor of the school's upcoming 'Mercu', what I call the school magazine.. It was about my essay. Which one? Well, for some odd reason, for our holiday essay, I wrote about Paris. And you also know Doll-chan, Ira, that I only spent like a day there and of course, absent-minded as I am, I couldnt remember a thing. (With an exception of the fact that the queue was long and I was at a high altitude; do the math.) And guess what? I forgot that I once wanted to study there; Paris that is. .__.; Stupid yes, I do, infact dream big. But heck, I wanted to study arts. But now, my ..destination-to-be is to reach Canada.
It's even in my wallet; dont ask. xD
Anyways, yeah, she edited my essay. Effectively enough, I'm satistfied with it. The change that is.

.. long silence.
I just continued walking.
I thought I heard something.
I blinked.
"Nur Amirah binti Abdul Razak!"
I turned around and faced him.
"WHAT?!" I said coldly.
"You didnt answer me.." he shrugged.
"I thought I was hearing things, honest." .-.;
"Yeah well, just wanted to say, the library opens till 5 today." He winked.
I blushed slightly and turned around to go to the assembly hall. I waved and he nodded.

..See how names have an inpact on how I respond to people?? .-.;;;
I didnt hear him until he said Amira. My brain totally ignored 'Mira', upon my 'own' request. This happened on Thursday morning, and his nick is Kev. xP Aka, the famous school librarian who guarded my fav book for a whole week! How nice is that! o-o

Hmm, oh yeah, I tripped on a rock, stared in disbelief. The motor cyclist almost crashed into me; the car behind too. xD What a day Friday was!

Well, I'm like super tired and exhausted now, gotta go in a few anyways.

Friday, August 22, 2008


Third song in my mp3 .-.

Helena - Mcr
One of the many songs I can actually listen to without my mom saying, "Amira, you shouldnt listen to songs like these, they're bad." Bla bla bla..

Fourth- I dont love you - Mcr
I think this song just never dies. =D

Fifth- What's left of me- Nick Lachey
My cousin, Ira, has been telling me to delete this song, but no... never Ira. .__. I'm keeping this till the end, maybe till you're gone..

Sixth- Only one - Yellowcard.
Like gosh.. how long has it been? This song helped me in SO many ways, I dont even know where to start.

7- I'm off with all those shites..
Time is running out - Muse
^-^ I like this song, more than I like you at least. .___.

8-Because of you - Kelly Clarkson
Okay.. so Miss Winner of American Idol 3 caught MY attention too .-.;
My parents may not be happy with being together but at least they aint divorced ^-^v

9-Flavour of the week - Bowling for soup
This song literally rocks, some people even told me so.

10- When we die - Bowling for Soup
Hmmm... this was my profile song for a while, Myspace that is.

11- If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield
No comment, dont ask or you die. ~________~

12- Behind these hazel eyes- Kelly
Err.. I dont know what to say. .-.;

That's all, I've got like 71 minus 12 songs more to go but I'm.. currently on a headache, so later. -_-;

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Out of my head, out of my mind.

So.. yeah, ever since I came back from the darn 'trip', I've been thinking.. and not to mention, skipping some classes along the way. They dont even learn, I am bitching on going to school just for that shit. I'd rather stay home and just THINK.

Calm yourself Amira. God, yes, I know I know. You've told me a thousand times and it's so touching, it makes me want to puke. Not nice? Then shit off. Fine, I'll leave ya but I'm always open, if you know what I mean. People say that.. but do they ever mean it?!! No, dont think so mate. =/

Mp3- Imma list all songs, just bear with me for this hour and so on, kays? Alright.


...Ignorance is bless~
Oh yes, Kelly Clarkson =D
Never again.
reason it's put in my mp3, I don't know. o-o It was JUST there, like omg, I know xD

uhh... stickwifu, I think.
Yes, yes, that's the one. By pcd, like who doesnt know?

Third, I almost spelled it thrid xD
Ah.. too darned lazy now, I'll continue it off later. -.,.-

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I'm mad and confused

I'm confused, what should I do?
First of all, Hey! =] Just came back from grandma's, I'm sleeping there tonight too.
You know what?
On Tuesday morning, this friend of mine said to me : "You and him already clash?"
I'm like all blank "Who? Wha..?"
Then she said "Oh, you know, Josh."
And with a nod I said, "Oh, oooohhhh."._____.;

But then I'm like.. "When did I ever say I was with him though?" o-o
THAT was so sudden, I just got to school and was very sleepy. (Good thing I crossed the road safely, since I didnt even watch out.)
..Hmm, what else..?

Oh yeah! Today we didnt have any class. =0 We stayed in the.. whatever it's called in English, cant remember. xD
We had some diagnostic tests in Mathematics. One of the modules was SOO easy, I laughed non-stop. xP

And for some reason, I've been avoiding this guy. .-.; Just that everytime I see him, I have to turn back or whatever I do. .__.
My friend said he likes me and I'm like "..Gawd."
Dying sounds good by now. ^___^;

Oh no no. I've promised and I plan to keep it unfortunately. -___-
And, I'm listening to some Fall out Boy; Infinity on high. That album rocks but it aint like I have it or anything, I just have them songs.
For some reason, I'm really mad when I see this drama series 'Ezora.'
The girl looks like.. someone..
Ira just said that I miss her, I mean it's normal. How could you not miss someone you've cared for real, but she left. Oh well..

Er.. I dont think I'm missing anything, am I?
Gawd, I'm like so sleepy right now, even though I've slept the evening. And I'm going to have issues falling asleep tonight, I can feel the temptation within me to sit in a corner and just cry.
Sometimes, I think I'm so stupid. xD
I mean, I always think that I am.

Hmm, I think I'll stop for now. Gotta go pack and whatnot, and maybe, I'll try calling Maya so I can sleep better tonight.
Last night, I called Ame. =] And this guy wanted to walk with me. xD But I just told him to leave me and walk alone. =P
What a fun night that was..

Saturday, August 9, 2008

For all the while..

I dont know, I blog when I'll.. when I feel something.

On Friday, a bunch of guys tried to threaten me -_- they stole my phone, but in the end they apologized and gave it back, shukran. I told them this, "Next time, why dont you just break it into a million pieces and I would have never cared!" ~.~

Of course, I was mad. But I just said, "Well, it's hard not to. Just.. dont do it again please, this is something important and I cant afford to lose it."

Oh well, things happen. And.. we got our Maths back. I.. failed, total failure. I'm so stupid, I tried so hard but nothing seems to go my way. Why, why?! Amira, calm down.
Yeah, I probably should. It's not like me to get all fed-up by something so stupid and out of world, it's just that.. well, everything seems wrong now and I dont know how to fix them.
Dont know what to do, where to begin, who to turn to and why..

You had a bad day, that's all.

Hey, you came back.

I was always here Amira, you just dont notice me.

I put the blame on the day, it just keeps getting worse.

Dont, look straight ahead, Dont look back.


Trust me, just dont regret, it's a sin remember?

Hmm, guess you're right. Everything will be back..

To normal and you will too Muffin. Just look straight ahead and turn to those whom you trust.

But who..?

A lot of people is out there for you Darling.

Promise me you'll come back Ira..

I will, soon I hope. I cant wait to come back, I miss you so much Cousin!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Rebellious.. and I have found love!

Yup, just like the title said, rebellious. I have been quite rebellious.. as in.. I dont wanna do this, I dont wanna do that because people keep telling me to do this, do that. Avoid this, avoid that. Mah, what am I? A robot to obey? ~_~

Enough ranting, I'm tired. Yup, I've been tired and dont be surprised if I dont get on after this. Not like I have a choice, my step sister's keeping me away from the internet. My excuse is the trials and tomorrow's the last paper, shukran. -__-

Hmmm, thank god Fara's finally coming back here in October, I feel happy for her. ^___^
So now, before I go, I wanna say that... uh.. I found love again!!!!! =D

No comment on that, you'll know when I come back. Hopefully when I do.. if I have time..or if I find the need to... Bye, gotta go to tuition! :3

My winning essay =D

Reading is essential in one’s life. It is the basic of everything. From learning the alphabets to constructing long and detailed paragraphs is a part of it all. Good essays come from good knowledge of the topic and good use of the language such as the tenses and ingenious words. One of the problems with people these days is that the habit of reading is decreasing within the society. There are numerous ways in developing the reading habit.
One of the reasons that people don’t like to read is that their parents don’t encourage them from early stages of their childhood. Parents must encourage their children to read when they are still young. Short stories like Cinderella can boost an interest start to the child towards reading. Parents reading bedtime story to children is also a good way to impart the reading habit.
The phrase ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ is saying to not judge a person by their looks. A book with an appealing title might push a person’s interest towards it. A mysterious titled book with a mystifying cover works just as effective. One of the most published reading resources is the daily newspaper. Not only does it contain good writing, it also provides information on the recent issues that involves the global community.
One of the ways to improve one’s general knowledge is to have a consistent schedule of fair reading. Of course the reading habit doesn’t come naturally as it has to be developed through interest and thorough reading of novels and such. Thus it unconsciously makes one knowledgeable and a well-rounded person.
The reading habit is not only a noble habit to have, it also at the same time increase one’s knowledge as in learning new information that might help one pass exams and gradually become smarter. The reading habit also improves one’s language as in writing, English and social communication skills. It also boosts one’s self-esteem and self-confidence in using English in daily life and not be embarrassed to make simple mistakes.
On the whole, the reading habit brings many advantages to the community in providing useful information to the people that makes Malaysians a well-read society and at par with other leading countries.

Told you there were more to that other post <_<

Depression is a disease that afflicts the human psyche in such a way that the afflicted tends to act and react abnormally toward others and themselves. Therefore it comes to no surprise to discover that adolescent depression is strongly licked to teen suicide. Adolescence suicide is now responsible for more deaths in youths ages 15-19 than cardiovascular disease or cancer. Despite this increased suicide rate, depression in this age group is greatly under-diagnosed and leads to serious difficulties in school, work and personal adjustment, which may often continue to adulthood.
Brown, in 1996, has said the reason why depression is often over looked in children and adolescents is because “children are not always able to express how they feel.” Sometimes the symptoms of mood disorders take on different forms in children than in adults. Adolescence is a time of emotional turmoil, mood swings, gloomy thoughts, and heightened sensitivity. It is a time of rebellion and experimentation. Blackman observed that the “challenge is to identify depressive symptomatology which may be superimposed on the backdrop of a more transient, but expected, development storm.”
Therefore, a diagnosis should not lie only in the physician’s hands but be associated with parents, teachers and anyone who interacts with the patient on a daily basis. Unlike adult depression, symptoms of youth depression are often masked. Instead of expressing sadness, teenagers may express boredom and irritability, or may choose to engage in risky behaviours. Mood disorders are often accompanied by other psychological problems such as anxiety, eating disorders, hyperactivity, substance abuse, all of which can hide depressive symptoms.
The signs of clinical depression include marked changes in mood and associated behaviours that range from sadness, withdrawal, and decreased energy to intense feelings of hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. Depression is often described as “an exaggeration of the duration and intensity of normal mood change” (Brown 1996). Key indicators of adolescent depression include a drastic change in eating and sleeping patterns, significant loss of interest of previous activity interests, constant boredom, disruptive behaviour, peer problems, increased irritability and aggression. Blackman proposed that “formal psychologic testing may be helpful in complicated presentations that do not lend themselves easily for diagnosis.” For many tends, depression arises from poor family relations, which could include decreased family support and perceived rejection by parents. Oster & Montgomery, in 1996, stated that “when parents are struggling over marital or career problems, or are ill themselves, teens may feel the tension and try to distract their parents.” This “distraction” could include increased disruptive behaviour, self-inflicted isolation and even verbal threats of suicide. So how can the physician determine when a patient should be diagnosed as depressed or suicidal? Brown suggested the best way to diagnose is to “screen out the vulnerable groups of children and adolescents for the risk factors of suicide and then refer them for treatment.” Some of these “risk factors” include verbal signs of suicide within the last three moths, prior attempts at suicide, indication of severe mood problems, or excessive alcohol and substance abuse. Many physician tend to think of depression as an illness of adulthood. In fact, Brown stated that “it was only in the 1980’s that mood disorders in children were included in the category of diagnosed psychiatric illnesses.” In actuality, 7-14% of children will experience an episode of major depression before the age of 15. An average of 20-30% of adult bipolar patients report having their first episode before the age of 20. In a sampling of 100,000 adolescents, two to three thousand will have mood disorders out of which 8-10 will commit suicide. In 1995, Blackman remarked that the suicide rate for adolescence has increased more than 200% over the last decade. Brown added that an estimated 2,000 teenagers per year commit suicide in the United States, making it the leading cause of death after accidents and homicide. Blackman stated that it is not uncommon for young people to be preoccupied with issues of mortality and to contemplate the effect their death would have on close family and friends.
Once it has been determined that the adolescent has the disease of depression, what can be done about it? Blackman has suggested two main avenues to treatment: “psychotherapy and medication.” The majority of the cases of adolescent and depression are mild and can be dealt with through several psychotherapy sessions with intense listening, advice and especially those with constant symptoms, medication may be necessary and without pharmaceutical treatment, depressive conditions could escalate and become fatal. Brown added that regardless of the type of treatment chosen, “it is important for children suffering from mood disorders to receive prompt treatment because early onsets place children at a greater risk for multiple episodes of depression throughout their life span.”
Until recently, adolescent depression has been largely ignored by health professionals, but now several means of diagnosis and treatment exists. Brown says, “Although most teenagers can successfully climb the mountain of emotional and psychological obstacles that lie in their paths, there are some who find themselves overwhelmed and full of stress.” With the help of teachers, school counselors, mental health professional, parents, and other caring adults, the severity of a teen’s depression can not only be accurately evaluated, but plans can be made to improve his or her wellbeing and ability to full engage life.

....Err... Hm.. It's kinda hard for me to understand this, but I'm sure you do.

Abortion- Another word for Muurrder ._.

No need to state the obvious; everyone knows what abortion is. Then why do so many people push the issue aside as if it were a piece of junk? We live in a world, a society so corrupt that to kill the innocent, the unborn, is just another part of the day.
The western media portrays sexual intercourse as a right passage for teenagers and does not say it does not. Any person in modern society, especially in the United States, can tell you that as soon as the TV is switched on, you are almost bound to find explicit scenes of a sexual nature.
As more and more teens are inclined by peers and the media to have sex, the tendency to actually have sex also inclines. Commercials for condoms and other contraceptives are all over the place. But what if the condom rips or doesn’t work? BOOM! Someone’s girlfriend gets pregnant. What does she do? Nowadays, it seems that the typical decision would be to have an abortion; either to have partial birth or full term. Modern society in general has condoned this inhumane act to be normal. What people don’t seem to realize is that they are killing an INNOCENT human being. Yes; no matter what you believe, no matter what you’d like to say what that woman is holding in her womb, it is a human being.
But what is the girl is raped you ask? There are many positions on the section of abortion. Just because the girl is raped and impregnated does not give anyone the right to kill the unborn child. No, she probably did not wish to become pregnant, and no she definitely did not want to be raped but killing the unborn child is still murder. She’s killing her own child whether she wants to admit it or not. Sadly, many people do not seem to comprehend the seriousness of this.
Abortion is truly just another name for murder. Why do people not see it as such? Because no gun or knife is used. In partial birth abortion, the woman is forced into labour and once the baby is out, it is stabbed in the back of the head with scissors. Its brain is then sucked out from the back of its head. And yes, babies do feel pain. Asking a question so insane is ridiculous.
Well why is abortion such an issue you wonder? Because someone out there may be killing the next Einstein. Maybe the next Shakespeare. Was the unborn fetus human? Of course.
A woman walks into an abortion clinic one day and has a partial birth abortion. She walks out a few hours later, child-ridden, drugged up on pain killers, and maybe a little tired. The baby was killed and disposed of. At the same instant, somewhere else, someone stabbed an old person to death for no particular reason. What is the difference between the two? Besides the age of the two victims, essentially, there is none. Two innocent human beings were killed.
In Harper Lee’s To kill a Mockingbird, Atticus says, “… but to kill a mockingbird is a sin.” Read in context Atticus means that it is wrong to kill the mockingbird because all it does is make music. It’s done nothing to you so why should you kill it? The same goes for abortion. The baby has done no harm to anyone, so why are you killing it?

No comment. I dont know myself, just found this somewhere. ^-^;

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


This is the end
you know
Lady, the plans we had went all wrong
We aint nothing but fight and shout and tears

We got to a point
I cant stand
I've had it to a limit I cant be your man
I aint more than a minute away from walking

We cant cry the pain away
We cant find the need to stay
I slowly realized there's nothing on our side

Out of my life
Out of my mind, out of the tears we cant deny
We need to swallow all out pride and leave this mess behind
Out of my head, out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had they're bad
Tell them it's me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad

Another night and I bleed
They all made mistakes and so did we
But we did something we can never turn back right
Find a new one you fool
Leave and dont look back; I wont follow
We have nothing left
It's the end of our time

We cant cry the pain away
We cant find the need to stay
There's no more rabbits in my hat to make things right

Out of my life
Out of my mind, out of the tears we cant deny
We need to swallow all our pride and leave this mess behind
Out of my head, out of my bed
Out of the dreams we had they're bad
Tell them it's me who made you sad
Tell them the fairytale gone bad..

Hmm, this song brings back memories. Of the good times, bad or not I do not care. It reminds me of Fara and whatnot.
I wanna see her =/ but I'm just hoping they come back soon, Malaysia's great! Or not, I dont know but I feel great here. .-.;
Lalala~ bedtime's at 11 now so.. I better scurry off.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Difference between Sex and Gender >_>;

In today’s society sex and gender seem to have two separate connotative meanings. Sex is a more scientific term that explains physical traits and sexual preferences. Gender carries a more social tone. Meaning that it refers to the different clothing, activities, career choices, and positions people hold in society. A person’s social status helps separate or classify the two sexes.
Sex is the total sum of physical characteristics that distinguish males and females from each other. The most distinctive difference in characteristics is that men and women have different reproduction organs. This is pretty obvious and so are other traits like facial hair, voices and muscular builds. It would be a genuine amazement if you were to see a six-foot tall, five-inch bearded lady who sounds like Elvis Presley. (.__.;; Yuppers, that would be so wicked and horrifyingly ridiculous. xD)
That brings me to my other definition of sex. Sex is also known as the preference of sexual partner or mate that one desires. A person’s preference determines their sexual identity. There are three types of preferences. First there are heterosexual people who prefer people of the opposite sex. There are homosexual people who prefer partners of the same sex. And then there are bisexual people who like to have partners of either sex.
The environment that some people are raised in contributes to confusion about their sexual identity. Some people say that these preferences were present the day that they were born. I feel that it is one’s own choice what preference they choose. No one is born straight or gay (xD True said.). Certain traits may get mixed up when dealing with people who like to cross-dress (It’s fashion? O.o ) Those are people who like to dress like the opposite sex. Some people get sex change operations and become transsexuals. There are even people who are born with both a male and female organs. (o_o That’d be like so wicked..) They are called hermaphrodites.
Gender consists of social classifications that help determine sex. With the rapid changes in gender equality it is not as easy to separate sex by what a person does for a living. What position they hold in society or a household is not a good indication either. Years ago I could have said that if a person is a police officer, a soldier, a fireman, a politician, a lawyer, a doctor or any type of highly paid professional than that person must be a man. Back then this would have been a good hypothesis. The father was the man of the house. The minister was always male and there was no such thing as women in sports.
I could have probably also said that if a person was a secretary, a grade school teacher, a receptionist, a nurse, a maid, or a homemaker then that person must be a woman. People in the female group or gender worked lower paying less demanding jobs because it was believed that a woman could not handle the pressures that a “a man’s job” required.
With the absence of the father figure in many broken homes, women have taken over as head of the house (I stick with Daddy, just to say. ._.) They juggle home and work to keep their families together so that they can properly raise their children.
Gender is a tricky term to define. I think that gender should be left up to people to interpret themselves. The term gender is a little sexist because it associates sex with social status. As for me I think that gender is a little outdated. Sex is sufficient enough classification to separate men, women, and the people who are confused about what they are.

:0 Wow.. Enough said, I won’t understand anyway. xD
I have known many adolescents who have thought about suicide (including moi!). People’s reasons for suicide jus cannot be legit in most cases. Some reasons are: “My girlfriend broke up with me” or “people make fun of me” or how about “I don’t have any friends?” Whatever the reason for the thoughts of suicide, there isn’t a valid one, unless we are dealing in euthanasia.
People usually think suicide is the best and only solution to an insignificant problem. (I probably think so too. .__.) They do not think about the consequences or the people they may hurt in the process. So what if you total your car, or if some people don’t like you and you aren’t the most beautiful and popular there is. It all matters on what you think about yourself. (My case is that my death would put an end to everything that is associated to me, like so and so.)
One might think: well how would he know these people feel? I know because I too thought about suicide at one point in my life. But after evaluating the situation and putting some thought into how I not only would be creating the biggest sin (and be sent to hell) there is, but how I will hurt my family and the ones who love me. (I can spend hours thinking about that list..) I came to grips with reality and realized that there are much better things in life than to sit and sulk about stupid, insignificant problems that occurred in my day. So what? That’s life. (I totally agree!)
Suicide is not a solution to any problem. It only makes things worse and complicated. Depressed people are not the only one to commit suicide. A person who could seem to be the happiest, most outgoing person you know could kill themselves and you would never be able to figure out why. (I am happy in a retarded way.) People just sporadically think that suicide is the best solution to al their problems. But what they don’t think about is that they won’t have any problems because they will be dead.
Overall, I think suicide is pointless and most people will agree that it is the worst possible solution to any problem. (She just left him like that, how could she..) There is no excuse whatsoever to take your own life. Any person should be thankful for what they have, they may not have all the money in the world or be the best looking person ever, but even the people who seem to have everything one could want, may not have happiness. (Just like those princess stories?)

As I have time..

It's been ages, Doll-chan! I miss you all, so, so much! I've been busy lately, as you may know, exams. Urgh..

I've stopped feeling.. suicidal I guess. But I dont know, it'd come back soon. xDD Bleh, you seen Ira? She's been avoiding us, I just hope she isnt.. leaving soon.. I need her to get through the trials.. Goddamnit! Shush Amy, watch your mouth. x_X

Hmm... darn, tomorrow's history and Maths.. I dont wanna go ~_~;

Yup, so before I ran off, I wanna say my gratitudes to some.. friend shall I say.

Not much is remembered of her, just that she made me what I am now. A good friend, abandoned me so I could be free? I dont know, cant give a damn to what she said to me that day but she changed me for live and I'm glad.
So.. I wanna thank her, wherever she is right now. ^_^;

As for you, Amy, wash your mouth in soap, which means my mouth.. then no!!

Au revoir me amours!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Bleh, this is rather fun.

Depression is a psychiatric disorder characterized by feelings of worthlessness, guilt, sadness, helplessness, and hopelessness. It is different than normal sadness or grief from the loss of a loved one because it is persistent and severe. Clinical depression has many related symptoms; sleeplessness or insomnia, eating disorders, withdrawal and inactivity, self-punishment, and loss of pleasure. People who are depressed usually stop doing those things which they take pleasures in doing.
Surveys show that approximately twenty percent of the people suffer from depression at any one time and that about one in four people will suffer from depression over the course of their lifetime. Depression strikes men and women of all ages and of all races, but most studies indicate that women are more prone to this affliction.
There are two major forms of depression. One is called depressive disorder. This is identified by episodes of depression. The episodes can be short or long but are usually brought about by a single incident in a person's life such as the sudden demise of a loved one. The other kind is called bipolar or manic depressive illness, which is recognized by alternationg depressed and manic episodes. This an actual brain disfunction. In the major depression or the depressed phase of bipolar illness, a depressed mood predominates, even though the patient may not be aware of feeling sad. Typically, he or she looses all interests in activities. Symptoms may include sleep disturbances, not able to concentrate or to make decisions, loss of appetite or greatly increased appetite, slowed thinking and decreased energy, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, hopelessness, deminished sexual interest (Might explain why I dont like anyone right now. o_o) and recurrent thoughts of suicide and death (Huzzah~!) and sometimes even leading to actual suicides or suicidal attempts. In the manic phase of bipolar disorder, the patient's behaviour is bizarre and sometimes obnoxious. A person in such a state would be hyperactive and have lots of energy (So this is what made my stamina rise), would be talkative (Chatty!) having racing thoughts, and a diminished need for sleep (So you say. z___z) As can be seen, it is very hard to recognize the disorder in this state. Both depressive and bipolar disorders run in families. (Oh? My parents are such happy people, I'd never thought of that.)
The depressive disorders are among the most treatable in psychiatry. (I love psychology.) The usual treatment in modern practice involves the administration of antidepressant and supportive psychotherapy. (Well arent someone glad I can take pills. xD) The three main types of antidepressant are selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRI's), tricyclic antidepressant (TCA's), and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOI's). (~_~ Oy..) SSRI's and TCA's prevent brain cells from reabsorbing excess neurotransmitters after the chemicals have delivered their messages. SSRI's block the reabsorption of the neurotransmitter called serotenin. SSRI's include the most widely prescribed antidepressant, fluoxetine (Prozac). TCA's, such as the drug amitriptyline (for example, Elavil), block the reabsorption of several neurotransmitters, including serotonin and norepinephrine. MAOI's, which include the drug pheneizine (Nardil), inactivate a protein that breaks down excess neurotransmitters. (Wow, so many hard words. ~_~)
Most antidepressants are taken by mouth, and all require the prescription of a doctor. The drugs may cause various side effects. For example, SSRI's can cause increased anxiety, poor sleep (.__. Now I've got the answer to my questions!), nausea, and loss of sexual interest. TCA's can cause hypotension (low blood pressure), irregular heartbeat, and constipation. MAOI's may combine with certain foods or drugs to create life threatening hypertension (high blood pressure).

First off, wow! O_O Now, did we all learn something? ._.;
Yup.. I'm just insane about these stuff, cant help it.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Pass away, pass away bad influence!

Bleh, I'm just seriously pissed off at a certain someone right now.. It's my right, who is she to stop me..?

Meh, maybe death is too hard least crying isnt all that bad. .__. The fact that..bah! I aint gonna eat today, not in the mood to.
Lost all of it this morning, so much for that. I'm grateful man..
So far, my day just keeps getting worse. By far worse than before, but then again, isnt it always like this?
Sunday morning and people just keep on irritating me.. ._.

Grrr, I'm so mad I could kill for a hug. xD That's very funny.. No seriously, I could kill for a hug. Just one? But no... everyone's too fucked off to care for this girl. .-.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! ~_~ Bah, now I'm really mad!

Better get this over and done with before some more words come out, buh-bye!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Float like the clouds..

Um.. so where did I stop before? Oh yeah, Tuesday right? o_O

Now, Wednesday 9th July
Okay so I forget a lot. Including the fact that it was Wednesday. xD
Lets skip the morning shall we Doll-chan? Right after recess, my bestie and I head to the ICT lab (so yeah, I'm just used to call it that so bleh..) And you know what? We have the whole four periods in there. xD Mostly doing nothing cause the computer just have a grudge against us, so it wouldnt let us put in the marks. ~_~

Okay, I'll stop. xD
Thurday, 10th July o_o
PE! ^__^ Oh my god, we spent the lesson in the rain! xD Mostly doing nothing but throwing balls around o.o;;; softball we were practicing for.. .-.; Right after that, it was extremely cold. x_x
With the fan and all, everyone technically was shivering right to the bones.. ._______.;
Boy I'm glad that's over.

Friday finally! :D
I looooove Fridays. .-. In the assembly, it was about the Indonesian students leaving our school after two weeks (well, we only saw them for 3 days and that was it. .-.;;). It's supposed to be like giving the students over there a chance to come here and us to go there. ~_~ But.. it's only for 14, 16 and 17 year olds.. not us ;_________; so I dont have any chance @.@ But, but..
Our trials' not on the 20th August :0 It's on the 2nd ..of August. ._. Bleh, forget that.
So what's else..? Hmm..Oh yeah, the essay. ~_~
Bah, Imma work on it later~ I'm too tired now. @_@

In case you were wondering Doll-chan, to why I'm awake at this hour, it's cause I cant fall asleep. I cant even remember what I said to father. .-. And now, I.. I'm going to have my moment. xP
Man .__. Right where you want me- Jesse McCartney is what I'm listening to now. o_o