HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.
I miss you so much, blog. So sorry if you seem to think you were being neglected; I just didn't have enough... interesting 'misadventures' to rant about.
So. Yes. Now. I. Do. YAY.
I have to confess my feelings of affection towards visiting the hospital. Though I myself can't explain as to why. Maybe it's being around white walls. Not that I'm implying anything. Of course not.
I had a... um, nightmare? No, it was most certainly not a nightmare. Even though it should be counted.. I mean, MAY be counted as a nightmare.
A serial killer trying to kill my family and I. Nightmare? I loved the dream.
Well, apart from having to kill him with an axe (even though I must say it was amusing to have chopped him up >:] *cackle*) Also, having to tell Summaya that I might not be able to live. As I was concerned to have to chop him up twice because he's just... I don't know how to explain it. He looked similar to a norm zombie, but he was not of one. He was killed by me the first time around. To have to explain about the event about him still being alive afterwards just goes against my abasive nature. *coughs maniacally*
Anyway, yeah, since it's already Eid and all, I had done a lot of 'travelling' and socializing; both of which I should do more often. That, according to society itself and my ring of friends. (Though I am just happy being in my own Wonderland.)
Oh yeah! Since I was talking about having to die and all (straying from the topic of Eid and travelling and socializing....) I never thought that I'd be afraid to leave this world. I mean, I do not value my life. (Though I should. And you, too. Don't take me for an example. Really. Don't.) And so, I was surprised at the turn of events -- me being scared to death (it becomes very ironic over here, no?) about dying. Or maybe I was just scared of leaving her.
I've always had that trouble.
Countless of times already I had tried to leave the treasured friendship behind, forcing myself to believe that she is probably way better off without me around. Or just, you know, better without me on the whole. I don't know.
Depression has a way of talking that issue to my head. Several times.
Moving on....
Orange ring. Omigosh. I've been like, dreaming of it so many times now, I think I'm putting my hopes too high for it. Maybe.. what do you think, blog?
But perhaps it's best I do not wear a ring on any of my fingers. Remember what happened to the last one? I'm still like, scarred over that silly little mistake.
By the way, I now have a new sort of medication. Kinda. Apparently the doctors think (yes, I mean doctors -- since there was two doctors attending to me) that it's the muscle being... um, bruised? Something along the lines. Haven't I heard of that one before? And I had medicine to ease the bruising and 'burning up' feeling. Huh. Whatever. But I'm taking my sweet, sweet time to finish the medication, since it'd be finished in around 4 days max. From today onwards, that is.
OMG, blog, you know what? Yesterday morning, after I woke up (around 4:30am-ish), I started shivering madly and I had to literally curl up under the blankets and I had to cool down my temperature (a wet rag on my forehead, that is). I was so scared it might have been a fever or something. Fortunately, I believe, it was just a very, very hot flush. It shocked me. It pained a lot, too. Ugh.
Now that I think about it, I have a major headache. Probably from talking to you, blog, but it's okay. (l)
Apparently, blog, Mom met with Aunt Gee and Fara. I'm like, SHIT!!!!!! I wanna, wanna, SOOO freaking much to see her. I.. don't know where the sudden feeling of missing is coming from, but I just flippin' miss her that much. But oh well. She's coming this Saturday. In hope, my blog. In hope. And we'll have another rant session. Yippee?
Speaking of which, it's raining and my chest is feeling rather uncomfortable. Double ugh.
And guess what? I deleted his number. Yeah, HIS number. I was so mad when he finally picked up his phone that night, that I just deleted his number. PERIOD.
I was like, "Heck, you lied and won't care about me; why do I still have your number again!? *DELETE*"
I felt like I was no longer suffocated. It was the strangest feeling ever. Like, I so mean it, blog.
I probably should wrap up soon (chest pains and stomachache. The fish.) but I don't want to!
Um....... I miss her. Damn it. DAMN IT, BLOG. She's on a freaking date. ...Well, just out with her friend, but she called it a date. She probably doesn't realize how freaking jealous I'm enrolled with right now. Like crap, I even missed her on. What an unlucky day... >:[
I should get to sleep now.... I guess so.
I'll just lay in bed and wait for the pain to pass along, or grow tired of hurting me every few seconds. (Which is, like, kinda amazing if it does. Unfortunately, pain knows not of the misery it brings to human beings. Especially human beings, because pain is not even alive. What am I saying? Uh.... Just nod and say yes.)
Oh yeah, I also miss him so very much. Much love for you if you are reading this.
P.S. I also now have a student. I'm tutoring her English. Well, just on The Pearl by John Steinbeck as it's going to come in for our finals. But still. I have a freaking student!?!!!?!!?!? ftw. (l)
Missed you so, blog. I love you.
Goodnight. &&Aim, lock and mass murder;;
