Questions, do you have any?

So I wanted to post something very raw about myself but perhaps I'll put it in a draft first. But here's something cool I wanted to do.


I just simply Googled "Questions" and got these. I know information about myself is very boring but here goes nothing.

50 good questions to ask yourself and others

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

So I have had a lot of really cool nicknames, some of which are Wonderball, Amirabell, (Dork) but my favourite, I have to say, would have to be my name. Because the meaning is pretty cool, The Light of Princess/Queen/Leader. I know I'm not a very good leader nor do I possess any strong leadership qualities, but it's a prayer. And words are prayers, right?

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read?

I would have to say, "My Best Friend's Girl" by Dorothy Koomson. Not that I haven't read it, it's because I have read it so many times and I still can't get enough of crying, laughing and bawling my eyes out because of it.

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like?

I used to doodle A LOT. Like ALL THE TIME. But I stopped since I got discouraged by someone.

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?

Funny since I'm currently awake. I usually put on sleep lullabies from Spotify playlist; they have really great ones. I can't do with white noises, due to my hallucinations.

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it?

Solitary confinement as in the ones you spend by yourself? I would talk to myself, of course. Not the healthiest way to cope, I would say.

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away?

I do try to keep letters, since I don't get much of them, but I got these really cool birthday card a few days ago on my birthday from a health store that said I could redeem a birthday girl on my birthday month. We'll have to see.

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know?

I had to Google this, honestly. Ummm. Probably me. I hate discarding things, but I lose things. All the time. So what's the point, right?

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost?

Good choice of words. "Find a safe spot to roost". Weird since I was born in the year of the Rooster. Haha. Anyway. I have. Never. Been. To. A. Party. Unless you count the ones after school plays, where I almost tasted sushi at that time but couldn't because the mother ran out of them?

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be?

I know I am going to sound crazy, but I'm 90% positive that I have sixth sense. Chest pains. If I had to give one up, it would be... Smell. Because I can't imagine not seeing or hearing the most beautiful woman I know.

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?

I have no idea. My bathroom mirror is rather small. I guess if I take a selfie. Which is very rare in itself. I used to hang out with girls who stopped at every car window to look at themselves. Imagine. Me hanging out with 'popular girls'. Crazy, right?

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

That I was loved.

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?

Hmm. This is really hard. Probably drinking Starbucks.

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?

I'm going to skip this.

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections?

I stopped reading the newspaper. Let me tell you why. I had a task one time to research all the different newspaper and see if it had any difference. You know what I found? 

15. Which animals scare you most? Why?

I'm caught between spiders and snakes. Oh, and cockroaches. Especially those flying ones. Urgh.

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?

I love arguments. But I hate conflict. Strangely I always find myself listening to my ego. Does that answer?

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured?

It wasn't recent, but this girl said I was still cute, even not as a kid. Reason being I showed her a picture of me as a kid, since she asked why it was so hard for me to smile. I don't smile much. But that's for another day.

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will?

My lack of pride. I let people walk over me too much and I know that frustrates a lot of people but I don't know how to stop it.

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain.

What even is that? You explain.

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain.

In the sense that I'm childish and super insecure, yes. I tend to want attention all the time. It's hard because I feel neglected so I feel the need to secure my feelings by feeding off attention. Which makes me look like a fool.

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits?

When I was in the army reserve. Me. In the army reserve. I fainted quite a lot. So like... 4 years ago?

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why?

Very. Few. Friends. Reason being I'm really awkward to make more friends. 

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others?

Inclined. Hmm. Probably a little bit of both.

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone?

Few knows about my hearing stuff and hallucinations but nobody really knows I have touch sensations. Or at least that's what I call them. I feel something, or somebody, touching me and when I look, I see nothing and nobody.

25. What do you think about more than anything else?

I had to really think about this. I think... About death a lot. About heaven. And hell. And which one I'm going to.

26. What’s something that amazes you?

That I'm in love.

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why?

I'm really fragile and I cry a lot but I do appreciate honestly. Being slapped with honestly is better. Much better. Just give me time to recollect myself. And please don't mind my words while I'm angry with myself over the truth.

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest?

I've never taken anyone anywhere. Where I'm from there is literally... Well, I really love library and I know the city doesn't count as "my town" but I would take them there. Libraries, hospitals and airports are my favourite places.

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why?

I can't think of anything other than beat myself up. Only because I don't particularly know of a technique to beat myself up other than getting someone else to do it.

30. Do you have a catchphrase?

Hmm. None.

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them?

I love to talk about things. Sadly the person I want to talk to most is very busy all the time, so I try not to bother her. But if you come to me, about anything, anything at all, I would mostly reply. Mostly.

32. How and where do you prefer to study?

At the library or in my room at my desk. My father bought me a desk for my high school finals.

33. What position do you sleep in?

I don't know? I literally just fall asleep.

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why?

I've travelled a bit around Europe and Indonesia and that's all the countries and cities I would know or have been to but I really love Amsterdam. Really fell in love with it. Would love to go back one day.

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new?

a. Their ability to giggle.

b. Their ability to talk.

c. Their ability to make me talk.

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

I'm the third child and I associate a lot of being invisible which I never really liked growing up. You know, to look at other groups of girls and wonder why you're the only one alone and being hit on by the creepy man at the store when you just want to buy a pen. Or when you're eating by yourself and still wondering 24 years down the road what it would be like to have to eat with every day? Because I don't know. Tell me. That would be an interesting topic to talk about.

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be?

My negativity. 

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be?

I'm going to skip this one too.

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

Mi. It means beautiful.

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not?

Yes and no. It's too much of an elaboration. Skip.

41. What do you consider unforgivable?

If you lie to my face.

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not?

I haven't forgiven myself for being an outcast. I haven't forgiven myself for losing a friend. I haven't forgiven myself for pushing away a friend. I haven't forgiven myself for a failed relationship. Why? Because I don't deserve it.

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

I forgive quite easily. But I do have one hell of a temper.

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for?

Convictions? I don't know...

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain.

I tend to trust easily and fast. But only for fickle matter. If I'm using the word right. I don't trust people with my feelings. At all. Because I know I'll get hurt anyhow.

46. In what area of your life are you immature?

With attention. And insecurity.

47. What was the best news you ever received?

I don't know.

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular?

Very difficult. I don't like to hurt people, especially with my words.

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first?

About a year ago. I met this.. girl. The long term result. We're just friends.

50. When do you find yourself singing?

With my favourite songs. Want to know my favourite sad song to sing along to? Last Kiss by Taylor Swift. "..How to be something you miss" breaks my broken heart all the time.

I guess you could try to give these questions a go. And don't answer and skip if you want like I did.