Monday, September 5, 2016

Folders of My Heart

You can say that you've moved on. You can say that you don't think of them anymore. You can say that you don't replay the words they tell you every single second you're awake, that you don't dream of them anymore. Dream of holding on to them, begging and pleading them to stay. You can say that.

But I know that you still hurt over them. You're still bitter over it all. That's why you ran all those miles away at the mention of the person that came between you two. I know you still hope for them to reach out to you, even though you know the chances of you making the moon is substantially greater. I know you haven't let go of their heart.

And you've got this folder, named a single letter. 8 years of knowing, 4 years of unity and 2 years, 1 month and 3 days after their disappearance, all down to this one folder. You open it every now and then. You tell yourself not to, but you keep doing it. Over and over again, like a broken song on your music player.

But even though you choke slightly, you come back to your senses. Heartbreak heals, just like everything else. You've moved on, opened up your scarred heart to someone else, still hoping they'll take it. You've given your hands for that someone to hold, and you might be a little scared of them running away, but they haven't yet, so that's something, right?

And you go over that folder. You right click on it, you breathe in, you scroll over to that 'Delete' button, and it's gone, breathing out. All traces of them, physically and emotionally, gone.

And you're finally clean.

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