Qua.

.. And that's rather the twentieth time I've said that since I just woke up.

Hi, I have not been around for a while, I know. I don't exactly have anything to blog about.. I'm just waiting for time to pass.

And since I am here, well, why not.


You see.. the first few days of change would always seem hard. Because your track has been changed. You start to realize a lot of anything.
Things like:

1) You begin to realize how much sleep you've lost.

2) You are always tired, and whatever you do, it's always nothing satisfying.

3) You find that your smile only lasts for seconds -- When it had for a long while before.

4) You begin to realize how little work you actually have; you'd start to ponder.
Why did it take you so damn long before?

5) You can't seem to do things you've been doing before. Even if you do, you might start to tremble and.. well, to extreme cases, I know, some hurt themselves in the process.

6) You can't help but get flashbacks of the past.

7) You don't seem to find joy in entertainment anymore -- Sleep is just, might as well be, your only need for now.

8) All the medication you took to now.. all the ones you've thrown.. the hopeless check-ups you took.. they don't seem to matter, as always.

9) Reading is hard, when your mind keeps returning to the past.

10) You, in very few cases, may start to 'see' things.


Though I am not saying anything, that's just what I feel. How I feel.


Have you ever realized -- that when you've been up all night, got only roughly 3 hours of sleep, and now you're awake, you somehow feel... empty to an extent?