Friday, 19 June.
Qouting from New Moon: I was ninety-nine percent sure I was dreaming.
The reason being it was just a few minutes ago, that I remember, having sat upon my studying table, stuck on a particular question in my History's Notebook. I was, thus, still holding my pen. I looked around.. and what I saw was a room; white, to be exact, and no one to be seen. I looked around, again, and squinted my eyes. Then I knew; then I saw it. Them.
A depiction of a girl has always been hard for me to do. But.. this time was different. For no reason I can't go to. It was the small girl that caught my attention first. From afar, you could see she looked fragile. Her build, small, compared to the girl/woman she was facing. Though small, I could tell there was something about her. Something.. that caught my attention. She was wearing as a usual girl's clothing; a blue-ish dress, her hair tied up in a ponytail.. and her eyes. I saw them; even though I was sure I was at least 3 meters away from the scene. She was looking up, at the one she was facing. It was after a long time I decided to divert my gaze upon this.. female being the little one was facing.
From her expression, I could tell she was angry. I saw her hands shivering; trembling, perhaps. It was a strange sight; I couldn't help but keep watching them. The female one started screaming. Her accent, so unfamiliar, I couldn't make out what she was saying. But from the expression of the little girl, I knew it wasn't friendly at all. She kept on screaming, shaking the little one. I felt anger running through my veins, and I myself, started trembling. Screaming and screaming and screaming. I wanted her to stop, in fear the little one to start crying.
As ignorant as I may be towards little children, I'm very scared of their crying.
But the little one did not cry.
Red-eyed, she stared at the screaming one. I wondered why; but the woman kept on screaming so badly, I wanted to shut down my hearing. Though I could not make out what she was saying, I didn't want the little one to hear anymore of it. Only then I noticed. Her build, her eyes.. I should've known. The very reason why she attracted my attention.. was because she was so like my younger self. Except maybe more angelic. Way more, yeah.
Just when I thought my anger couldn't be subsided anymore, the little one got slapped. And by strange circumstance, I felt the pain. My head was immediately tilted to the side. I felt my right cheek; hot, and I was sure the little one felt of the same. She got more red-eyed, and by more surprise, the tears ran down. My cheeks.
Why, I wondered. Was it because she was so like my younger self, that I, had felt the pain?
"If you don't feel someone's pain, you'd never understand them."
I felt myself nod. A door slammed open; or at least, I heard a door slammed. A.. I wasn't sure what to think of him -- Guy, Man, Teenage. Maybe all of them. He stormed in and took the little girl's wrist. Tightly, by the slight wince I saw coming from her. She refused to move, but he wouldn't budge. He glared; stared, maybe, at the other one. It was then I saw the room -- Decorated with such familiarity that I was feeling nostalgic.
It surprised me even more when the girl started crying. It didn't stop the guy, though, but surprised the little girl, also. I saw she was trying her hardest to not move and stay with the girl. But he still wouldn't budge. He dragged the little girl out; her fragile gaze not moved away from the girl who was crying. I was unsure of what to feel at the time -- I felt pain for the little girl. Somewhat sympathized the young woman; and all the more, relieved upon the guy's arrival. But one thing for sure, I was lost to what was happening.
The screaming, the slap, the little girl, the young woman, the guy.. it all didn't make any sense. No way to confine what was happening. Not yet. That's what I had told myself.
Despite all, I felt weary. I just.. wanted to leave. I wanted to wake up from this weird dream. But something kept me, and I was pretty sure it was of the little girl herself. I wanted to know what was happening, so I rushed out of the room. The sight then was, a hall way -- No, it was sort of a lane, corner, maybe.
The little girl now sat on the floor, the guy next to her. I began thinking, but it couldn't possibly. The little girl couldn't possibly be related to the young woman or the guy. The angelic face was of different. Difference of such I couldn't stop myself from staring at her face. I felt the need to hold her. The need to protect. The intuition of over-protectiveness.
When he finally let go of her wrist, I felt myself sigh of relief. I wasn't entirely sure why, but my wrist felt a little pain. Was I really feeling her pain, or is it just a mere coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not. I couldn't bother thinking anymore, I leaned across the hallway of which seemed to be a locker of some sort. Mere thinking that doesn't really help. I had the chance to take a closer look at the angelic face; she was definitely a fragile one. The smile was of a frown. I clutched my fist, trying to recollect my thoughts. It seemed a while before any of them said anything.
"Did she-.." He started.
But she cut him flat. Her voice.. I found myself panting. The angel spoke.
"It wasn't her fault."
"Not yours, either."
She sighed, and looked at him. She held his face with her small hands.
Was she trying to protect the one person who hurt her? Why, I thought. I felt anger; rage now, circulating around me. But I realized then, she was trying to protect her because of him. Because of this male being. My gaze spontaneously went to him -- He was of decent appearance, his eyes, blue and with a grey shade. Strangely enough, I could see she was attracted to him. And it didn't surprise me. He seemed unfamiliarly friendly, and I felt secure, as she was.
I was impatient, I wanted to know what her name was. The angel's name.
Snap! I hit my head, and hard, on the table. So I was dreaming. Great.. just at the part where I didn't want to wake up most from. I sighed, and lied down on my bed, crawling.
Erina, I thought, right before I fell deep into my slumber.